Leading When There Is Resistance

There is a tension I never expected to feel this sharply: my wife does not want to pray with me or read the Bible. When I suggest it, the answer is a clear no. Sometimes it even feels like a quiet revolt. And yet, at the same time, she still expects me to be the Christian leader in our home. She wants me to lead — even when she does not want to be led.

At first, this feels like a contradiction. How can you lead someone who is actively resisting direction? How can you be responsible for spiritual leadership when the other person refuses the most visible expressions of faith?

I am slowly learning that leadership is not the same as control. Biblical leadership in marriage was never meant to be about forcing agreement or compliance. It is not about dragging someone into prayer, quoting verses until they submit, or using faith as leverage. That is not leadership — that is pressure.

Progress, in this situation, starts with redefining what leadership actually looks like. Sometimes leadership means restraint. It means staying consistent in your own walk when no one is clapping for it. It means praying alone, quietly, faithfully — not as a protest, but as an offering. It means reading Scripture not to correct your spouse, but to let it correct you first.

Paradoxically, leadership also means accepting her freedom to say no. Love that cannot tolerate freedom is not love; it is fear in disguise. If I truly believe God works in hearts, then my role is not to replace Him, but to create space where trust, safety, and respect can grow again.

Being a Christian leader in a resistant home is slow, humbling work. There are no shortcuts. The progress may not be visible for a long time. But leadership rooted in patience, integrity, and love speaks louder than any forced prayer ever could.