I put myself out there all the time. But because of my genetic disorder, the world constantly rejects me. I have dealt with this all my life. As a child my parents said it will get easier when you get older because adults are not as mean as kids, but the exact opposite happened. Adult are even worse. If you look weird or strange, people always assume the worst. I spend 99% of my time alone not because I am a loaner, it is because know want to be seen or associate with someone who is physically different.

Last night was probably closest night I have ever came to taking my own life, I feel a little better today, I am really thinking about going to the hospital. There is no way in hell that I am going to do 40 more year of this.