Applied Attitude Adjustment
Learning About "Attitudes That Work At Work"
Thursday was our yearly library "All Staff Day." All Staff Day is an annual gathering of all of the employees of our library district. There are seven library branches and the Bookmobile in our district, and once a year all ninety of us meet and learn stuff together!
Most of our sessions over the last five years that I have been with our library district have dealt with some similar themes, conflict resolution, personality studying and understanding, and this year's theme, applying an understanding of how our brains function, and how that shapes our attitudes.
I have to admit, my attitude is pretty positive most of the time, and I love to learn, especially with groups of people, so I was like a puppy in a liverwurst factory as I sat at tables with my library crew. Our speaker, Robin Rose, was a very geuine and kind person, and she spent quite a lot of time explaining just what unchecked negativity and stress can do to a person. Not only is a negative person more sour to be around than a professional sports team's laundry bin, but apparently all those negative waves can have some pretty devastating health issues too!
She spent quite a bit of time talking about how you can bring yourself out of or stop your descent into defensive mode (a natural state that most of us go to when challenged) through keeping the thinking brain engaged. I was sort of caught of guard when I learned that the majority of the population wanders around in "Survival Brain" mode, which is basically a person who is not thinking at all but is always right, has no impulse control or self-awareness, is defensive, and is "wired for survival, not happiness."
How sad.
Study after cited study was offered as source material for Robin's assertions. I appreciated all the scientific consensus and observation, but an incident that occurred the day before while I was prowling our library's hallowed halls provided more than enough correlation between the subject matter we were being offered and real life application and observation.
A grey haired man wandered in the door as I was watching the front desk for a co-worker. His goatee was a tarnished patina that can only be attained through a life of hard work and motorcycle exhaust. As he stomped by the circ desk my nostrils breathed in the scents of vehicle grease and cheap cigarettes.
A stack of checked in books were on the counter awaiting washing, so as I picked up one of the dirty tomes I kept an eye on the new arrival out of the corner of my ocular socket. He plunked his already agitated form down at one of the patron computers and proceeded to thrust his dirty arm over his head and snap at me like I was a busboy at some diner.
Now, I have to admit that I wasn't thinking very kind thoughts at that moment. Aside from just recovering from a pretty horrid two-week long illness, one of which I had to endure without a sufficient break, I've also been contending with a bit of burnout. To say that my attitude was positive in that moment would be a lie. However, one weird thing about me is that I don't like to inconvenience people, even rude specimens, with my feelings. What this means is that you can be talking to me and I will be having a simultaneous internal conversation about everything from your expressed tone, body language, the situation's content, and about a million other variables all at once. I will then pick the scenario that best guarantees that person will be satisfied and implement it. Tone change and body language have an amazing effect on people!
So, as I was sauntering towards the loutish Luddite, I found myself considering how I was going to deal with his churlish form. We are not required to take abuse, and for a nanosecond, as a piece of paper containing a Gmail address and password was chucked in my direction along with some order to just "get him where he needed to go cause he hates these stupid things," I considered banishing Double L. The thing was, he wasn't my first computer hater to deal with. Most people that resent using a device that's been around for more than a couple years are about as secure as an open can of tuna fish in my hay barn. They are usually very capable, hands-on folks that resent having to learn a new skill to do things that they always did a certain way (job hunting, banking, etc.). Sucker that I am, I pushed the annoyance aside and went all Mother Theresa on that clam!
Within ten minutes I had Rustic Patina Goatee Guy smiling instead of yelling, asking for my help politely rather than demanding it, and chatting amiably instead of barking abrasively. Do you know what it took to do that? Awareness. His defensiveness had nothing to do with me. His willful ignorance and technological defiance were causing him inconvenience, I didn't need to let his distress bleed over and cause me duress. I honestly kind of pitied the man, not because he didn't know how to do something, but rather because of his unwillingness to learn how to do something that made him uncomfortable. One of my greatest dreads is to let my brain become static and stagnant. S0 I suppose it is good that every once in awhile I deal with a living visual reminder of that dread.
One thing that Robin Rose talked about is that not one of our brains are alike. We are all beautifully unique. How wonderful is that! We should not be mired down with a bad attitude, for:
Your attitude is the lens or mindset through which you see yourself, people, and the environment.
You have the capacity to choose how you view things in your life, and me thinks one should choose their life-eye wear with care! Otherwise you could end up smelling like industrial lubricant and shouting at bemused librarians. I think the world has seen enough of that...
Want to read more @Generikat posts?
I think I will write a brief post about my own special computer user today.
Is it bad that I instantly knew who that was?
Very, and you should be ashamed.
Wait, she should be ashamed.
I applaud you for patience. Dealing with the public on a daily basis can be incredibly difficult. Unless people experience it for themselves they simply don't understand. I damn near bit right through my tongue on more occasions than I would like to remember. I wish I could say I handled things like you did, but many times I didn't. Rudeness and ignorance burn me up.
It's so simple. Treat people the way you would like to be treated. When you give respect, you get respect. Thanks for proving that point @generikat!
Thanks for the round of applause my friend, I don't always deserve it. There is a bit of a mischevious, ornery streak in my DNA and sometimes I let it get the best of me when a member of the public irritates me. I have a friend whose father owned the first KFC franchise, she grew up in food service, and it is a requirement that each one of her children spends some time in food service so that they "understand."
It truly is simple, following the Golden Rule, and in the spirit of that I have to say thank you so much for your kindness and support @chops316. It truly does mean a lot, and the next time I want to throw a book at a ogre-like member of the public's noggin, I'll remember your words! lol!
You know what, screw it. Throw the book! ;)
Great post on how to " Win friends and influence People". Not so sure the Harley guy would have gotten such a kind reception from me. Some people really don't know how to ask for help. You did a nice job with him. 🐓🐓
Awe, Thank you! The thing was I really didn't want to even deal with him. Quite honestly I would have rather waxed his goatee into the shape of a banana at that point, but made the decision to help him instead. Missed out on some fun there! Lol!
I hope you have an amazing day😊
help stop the censorship of evidence on steemit?
https://steemit.com/steemit/@dailylol/censorship-of-evidence-on-steemit-yes-their-is
Dude, where do I begin. A. Don't advertise your posts on other people's posts. Especially when it has nothing to do with the original post. This is spam. Not the good kind you can eat with eggs. B. If you are going to spam, at least have the courtesy to upvote the post you spam. Many people here on steemit work very hard making posts in an attempt to try to entertain or inform. The beautiful thing about steemit is we can reward people for sharing. Even if it's a piddly two cents like my upvote. One thing I've learned here is the more you share and support authors, the more you get in return. Not always, but most of the time. C. There is no C. D. Re-read this post about treating people with respect. If you read it at all. I recommend it, it's quite good.
My first reply to you was not sent for some reason. It just showed a loading icon for the last 10 min. Same with my upvote. I did take a screen shot while it was frozen so I hope you can forgive me for just posting the image and not typing it out again.
Perhaps it would help if you think of it this way: Would you go to someone's opening night concert, art exhibition, or even house warming and instead of taking in that which they created and dialoguing with them about it, instead start talking about something that has nothing to do with the event. Not only would it make the people who did the creating feel awkward but it would also disprupt the flow of the event.
Steemit at its core is a social network, and relationships are about interacting. I would be more apt to listen to you if we interacted meaningfully with each other. That is what upsets people around here regarding SPAM. Definitions aside, I tend to ignore unsolicited vote/follow begging, post inspection attention seeking comments, and other improper Steemit etiquette breaches. Do you know why? I have never engaged in that type of behavior on this platform, nor will I, yet I still have an audience of people that choose to hear what I have to say. You can have it too if you put the work in, choose not to be defensive, and learn from your faux pas. It's totally okay to make them, I do all the time both on Steemit and in life! What's important is to learn from our errors and move on!
Nice reply @generikat. I did my best to be polite and tried to inject some humor. My first thought was to say something like #$@$%^^&(**!!! But since you post was about treating people politely I thought that would be in bad taste. Damn I'm getting wimpy in my impending old age.
If someone is trying to kill me and I run into your event crying and screaming for help, you are going to tell me I should have paid you money and only talked about the event?
I was getting censored and didn't know what to do so I asked for help.
I said I'm sorry I didn't pay you money when asking for help. See I upvoted the last comment you made. After this I'll go to the post and upvote it ok?
I didn't ask for your vote or a follow, I was asking for help. Sorry I don't know steemits unwriten rules.
What advice would you give to someone getting censored, if asking for help from the bigger names on steemit is wrong to do because only talking with them about what they say in their post is the etiquette?
Your behavior here thus far just tells me you've been properly flagged for bad behavior elsewhere. It's not "censorship" to flag something and inform you that it's inappropriate behavior. You're being corrected, no silenced. You can choose to reform, or continue on your current course.
A sincere apology instead of making more excuses would demonstrate reform, BTW.
Hey @jacobtothe, reading this clown's replies reminds me you can't fix stupid. I give you an A for effort anyway. At the very least it looks like we ruined his day. What makes me laugh about this entire fiasco is it shows up in a post about respecting other people and having common courtesy. The irony is awesome. Have a good day.
Spammers have no sense of irony.
Do you not know what censorship is?
Censorship is the obstruction of information, when you flag something it makes it so it does not show up in followers feeds. flagging something invisible is censorship.
Look words up before you go into an argument about the meaning of a word.
Would it be censorship for you to stop me from shouting through a megaphone in your living room at 2 AM? No. Is it censorship to tell someone their behavior is inappropriate? No. I flagged your comment because you are shouting in @generikat's living room at 2 AM and it is inappropriate.
Look up the meaning of words yourself. You may find you are the one in error about definitions.
Your comment was utterly irrelevant and inappropriate. Self-aggrandizement is inappropriate. Advertising your own post is inappropriate. It was spam, plain and simple, even if you haven't yet spread it around much.
Meanings of words don't matter much to you do they?
Having fun throwing a fit over something I have already apologized for over and over and even upvoted all the stuff that was asked?
It was not spam and no matter how many times you say it is it does not change the meaning of the word spam.
Move on as you are trying to start a fight when its already over with.
I'm trying not to fill this comment section up when it is not wanted.
Unsolicited messages, especially advertising, are spam regardless of the quantity. You're the one throwing a fit here. I am honestly trying to help you be a better Steemian.
Regardless of the definition . I was not advertising I was crying for help.
Broken record much?
I got it I got it fuck.
I said I wont do it any more can we drop it or should I use my mute button again so you can keep going off about nothing?