RE: Last Week I Attempted to End My Life and Woke Up in the Hospital.
I suffer from a chronic painful disorder for many years now. I won't tell you that it didn't go through my mind to end it all because some days it was the only thing I could think of.
In my opinion this has nothing to do with psychology. Pain is pain. It is similar to getting tortured jut for being alive. You can't do shit because you carry all this pain with you. People won't be able to empathize because they don't know what you go through. You stay home all day, you and your pain become best friends and worst enemies.
My suggestion before you attempt something like that again is to exhaust all medical possibilities. Get surgery, go in debt, whatever it takes, just try to solve the pain problem first and let all the other psychological crap on the side.
If and when you get relief from pain, even from medication, then do everything else.
Keep us updated.
That's exactly what I am doing. I can't go more into debt but I moved here because they offer expanded medicaid and finally am taking advantage. I have an appt this Mon to see a urologist. I already used illicit measures to get meds in the past but decided I really DO need a cystoscopy and don't need to dabble in street stuff to try to get relief. I will be a solider and work through this. I never plan to let myself become inebriated again to the point that I lose control and give in to that voice which usually I keep at bay.
just make sure to stop alcohol completely. it works much like gas in a fire with infections.