Birthday?!
Its the good lady's birthday this week.
My mission, rather obviously, is to find her some presents. Normally something I would breeze through with nary a thought. I am a splendid gift giver. If I do say so myself.
This time however the good lady is up the spout. She has a bun in the oven. She is, how may I put it delicately, gravid with child.
She has learned a few lesssons from the last pregnancy and I seemingly have learned naught. I approached her for some hints as to what she would like. I knew a few things were out given that she is rather large comparative to her normal size. She helpfully responded.
No clothes. Wouldn't be able to wear them for ages.
Hmm, ok. That seems fair enough.
And no jewelry, you know what young babies are like. Clutching at everything.
Of course. I remember our first, reaching out a grabbing hand at anything that glittered. Well, in fact anything that moved.
Definitely no sweet things. I am the size of a house.
Oh come now my darling, you are a svelte gazelle considering your, ahem, condition.
She fixed me with a hormonally raging eye.
Svelte? Gazelle? Are you taking the piss?
I assured her that oh no. I was most definitely not extracting that particular item. She was not easily mollified.
Don't get me slippers or any shoes, you always get the most ridiculous shoes. The comfy stuff I have is good enough.
Hmm, right you are then.
Perhaps you would like a guitar?
I grinned winsomely. She glared at me.
Oh funny, no. No guitars.
Dammit.
And no massages or spa treatment type stuff. I can't get any of that right now. I am pregnant.
She rubbed our unborn child through the whales head sized bump on her tummy.
Are there any books you would like?
You can't go wrong with a book after all. She loves reading!
No books. I have loads I have not had the chance to read and I won't get much chance running around after a newborn.
She grinned somewhat manically.
I will leave it to you. I know you always come through.
HA! Yes, perhaps. I am fecking stumped this time though. What on earth can I get the lady who does not seem to want anything? Ah, I know. Something baby related. After all who couldn't resist something baby oriented when in fact you are hefting around a big lump of child on your front!
And for the love of god no baby stuff please.
Dammit!!
One of those light up toy lightsabre's?
She sighed and gave me that look.
It looks like the only thing she will be getting is a kick in the chuff at this rate!
I think a creative gift made of your own two hands is the only chocie you really have here. For my woman, I would write a love letter on my body in chocolate ink and have her lick it off as she read it. I hope that sparks your imagination.
Seems your wifes birthday is almost the same as mine X-D
Haha, that is a fabulous idea. I wonder though, it sounds a little like a present for me lol!!!
It's a good month for birthdays!
What about a new ironing board? Surely she can still iron while pregnant! A nice sturdy one that folds up easily to put away.
I always tease my wife with that one!
Joking aside looks like you've got yourself a big problem!
How about loading up a debit card for her with some of your hard earned SBD?
What about getting a baby sitter and taking her to the theatre before the bun is out of the oven?
She is too uncomfortable to go out I am afraid but you know that is a great idea idea just loading up a card for her. Cheers @kus-knee! Then she can buy what she pleases after the fact!
Hehe, I have tormented her often with Jones about getting her household appliances :0D
a home runner? a gym subscription? peace Mrs. Boom and Happy Birthday :)
I totally agree with the Old Dog - cash! cash! :D
Cash cash cash!! She is getting some is that although too late for a debit card!! Only two days to go!
cash then ;)
by the way .. I want to thank you for referring me to steemnow - it's a lot better !
i get the exact amount there :)
freaking awesome! ^ ^
edit : i realized with my old table I was giving some more than they did
now its more efficient ^ ^
It is much more efficient in that regard!
I am eternally thankful I found out about it as it really helps! Youre welcome!
Hire her a nanny! Or adopt an au pair. You both can thank me later....
I would be thanking you if we got an au pair!!
Do yourself a favor and get a Swedish au pair, back in my last two years of high school, my neighbors had one of the prettiest girls ever watch their precious child. Wild times were had.
Haha, it's funny but I think all guys think the same when the words au pair are mentioned!
I admire you for the time you take to interact with everyone! I spent some tome yesterday browsing through it all. Funny how you say that she doesn't completely understand the steemit addiction. Have the same problem!
Good luck with the present. All I can say is I surreptitiously take notes during the year and try to pull a trick out of my sleeve when the time comes. Ah, the lengths we go sometimes...
Hey dude, I do exactly the same normally. Sneakily hitting down in my phone anything she says she likes then when it's presents time I am like, boof! There you go! The pregnancy thing has just complicated it this time grrrr.
It's weird isn't it, my other half has no problem spending the cash but assist from that thinks it's a silly boy hobby!!!
I do like to answer folk, sometimes I wonder if I am obsessed lolz!!
A big jar of gherkins? A swimming pool? A robot vacuum cleaner with your face on it? A painting of a hippo? A drone with a white flag hanging from it for when you daren't approach?
Holy flip!!! All of the above!!!
She is sorted now! :0D
Oh yes! I concur with the drone! Now your talking. Settled Id say, a drone it is!
Ha , huh , got no clue !
Good Luck , grtz :-)
Cheers man!!
Hahaha! First of all, happiest birthdays to your good lady. I didn't know she was a legend. Legends, after all, are born in August. Science has proven that already.
Well played, I must say. She has eliminated all of the obvious ones, and now has tasked you to come up with an innovative one to surprise her. But, I feel that in her quest to eliminate the obvious ones, she has narrowed the field quite a lot. If she has eliminated 98%, I implore you to think about the 2%. I have the utmost faith in you, Boomshakalaka. The fate of your union depends on this ever so crucial gift. I wanted to throw out suggestions, but this one needs to be intimate. No other person could suggest the correct gift. The next few years hinges on this pivotal choice. No pressure, dude ;)
The next few years indeed! I am hoping that even if my choices are kak she will have such sleep deprivation over the coming onths that she will never really remember it.
Hahahaha, August is the month of champions for birthdays lol. I do remember reading it in some lofty science journal. Dash it, how do they know these things?
You would have the chance to make up for it by being the doting, loving, manly man husband that you are!
They know these things because they run a statistical analysis by correlating the percentage of success associated with... BECAUSE SCIENCE!!!
Because science!!!
That is all that is needed to know!!!
And that is all I will ever show!
Just buy shoes for her haha or send her some SBD because ladies love shopping...
I am in the same boat and never know what to buy till the last second....I send you a toast buddy, cheers.
I could send her SBD but with the current value it would have to be a lot lol!! Cheers!
Then send in more posts at least 70 daily ...I have your back covered via steemvotters.com haha . Ladies must shop.
70 posts! Yes, I will quit my job and go to town!! Weeeee! ;0D
Hiyaaaaaaaaaaa there is no better job than steemit!!!!
Lol, that would be true yes!
Amen to that. Keep steeming to the moon...more success.
Such an awesome post Mr. @MeesterBoom! You guys seem like an amazing couple, even a role model couple.
I have an idea, maybe not the one you would go for, but it might inspire you.
I would love to make like a small video where I wish Happy Birthday to your Lady and all the luck in the world with the pregnancy. Maybe you could also ask other Steemians the same and make a really cool video out of it.
Just an Idea. Let me know, and if you decide to do something like this, I would totally get involved! :D
Lol, that sounds as cool as feck but she thinks of steemit or anything steemit related a little differently from me!! Cheers man!!
Maybe this is a great opportunity to change her perspective about Steemit and the Steemit Community. I think it would be indeed cool as feck. Hahahah
Lol, she probably wouldn't even watch such a thing. Steemit is my little hobby and that's the way she thinks!
I'm not trying to be insistent, but we Evolve as a species and as Individual Humans by expanding our ways of Thinking. So it's a natural process to embody a new way of thinking, if enough evidence is brought to Light.
Hehe, I appreciate the thought but no thank you!
"She has learned a few lesssons from the last pregnancy and I seemingly have learned naught" Too funny!! "gravid with child" I'm adding that to my arsenal for sure.
How about something similar to fill the room and her ears with pleasant music?
Music is always a hit that's true!! I think I will buy her something like that :0)