my place in anyone's heart

For a long time, I have not bet on my place in anyone's heart

. I protect myself from the trouble of expectations and keep my heart from disappointments after asham. I will not bear the idea of thinking that I am a special person in someone's life and then discover that I am a transient person who can be overcome and leave with ease. .

For a long time I have been avoiding Asham and getting attached to people..
I say to myself
“I am a person who can be easily abandoned and replaced, a transient person in everyone’s life, not a dream for anyone, and always subject to abandonment and oblivion.”

I convince myself of this cruel idea in spite of myself..
To protect what is left of me, I have been hurt a lot by illusions and suspicions.