Moving to a new Country after Marriage
This is a question for all the females. Would you get married and settle down in a Country where you absolutely do not know anyone, except for the man you are getting married, you do not even know the language of that Country and neither do you have any cultural presence in that Country? Personally, I will not, even if I am madly in love with the person. Love is one part of the whole future, but being practical I cannot survive just on Love.
One of my Cousin took this decision, a year ago. The boy is from Korea, and she from India. She learned the basics of the language but still does not understand it fully. She does not know a single soul there except for the boy, and there is absolutely no one from our community there with who she can connect and find some common ground. For the first few months it was all good, she was exploring the place going around. But then as time is passing by, challenges are surfacing up. The family of the boy can barely speak English and she can barely speak Korean, so the first challenge is the communication. She cannot take part in family conversations because she cannot understand it much. Now she feels lonely and lost and wants to come back to India.
Well, this was anticipated by us but then at that time when we tried to explain it to her, she refused to listen. There is no problem with the man, he is a nice person. He takes care of her, but he cannot completely take care of the loneliness she feels. It's never easy settling in a new country and that too in one that has no common grounds with your roots. If it would be London, or America, there would have not been much of a challenge because lots of Indians are based there. But here there are very few Indians and she has yet not been able to connect with them, because the part she lives in is quite secluded and she is not even that type of a person who will mix up easily with other people. Language is a big barrier for her. Knowing some few words is not enough.
I do not really know what she intends to do, but I am just hoping that with time she will learn their ways, get fluent in the language and be able to settle down in the place with her hubby and have a happy married life.
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I think these problems were foreseeable; the young couple imagined it would be too easy. The solution is in their hands: the girl must learn the language intensively so that she can participate in everyday life, the world of work and culture. As a first step towards rapprochement, I would then tell my new relatives about my traditions, Indian customs, stories... And I would be open to Korean habits. There is so much to discover in the world – why close yourself off to it?
Here on Steem, there are active and cosmopolitan Korean users: perhaps they have some ideas about what the young woman could do to get along better in Korea? @syskwl ;-)))
You are right, they did not see it coming, but we all could. Let's see, she is planning to come to India in a month's time, after that is a question if she goes back again or not :-(
Thank you for the curation
Upvoted! Thank you for supporting witness @jswit.
In earlier ages the same picture we could see in more local case when man or almost always girl was need to move from one village to another one or from one region to another where our girl doesn't know anyone excepting her new husband his family(parents) etc. And nowadays we can face with almost the same but with that difference that now it can be another country or even different part of the world.
Of course it's your cousin choise what to do but the best way will be to support her decision and help her not to be lonely.
Or maybe to try talk with guy and help him ho learn beter language and culture...
Adapting to new place and people does take a long time, one must be mentally prepared for that. It can get very depressing at times when you have none of your people around and nothing is familiar to you
@nainaztengra, this is such a thought-provoking post! You've touched upon a really complex and often romanticized life decision with such honesty and practicality. The story of your cousin highlights the challenges that aren't often discussed when considering marrying someone from a completely different culture and moving abroad.
The question you pose to the women of Steemit is powerful: Would you make such a significant move knowing no one, the language, or the culture? It really forces one to consider the balance between love and the practicalities of daily life and connection.
I imagine many women here have faced similar dilemmas or know someone who has. I'm eager to read the responses and see the diverse perspectives on this. Thank you for sharing this personal and relevant experience! Upvoted and resteemed!