Good to read your writing again buddy @paholags,
About the telegram writing, you mastered it well, and you managed to entertain the reader with a core structure of words that hit the mark.
When it comes to the part of writing a story based on poetry, here I didn't get the culmination of the emotion, like at the end, which could have been made more profound, but still with concise words.
Let me analyze it a bit:
I still miss that look of fire that ignited my skin. Your love enlivened me; now your absence turns me to ashes because nothing remains of what once ignited us.
You used the word "ignited" twice, I don't think it's wise, what if we remove the other one at the end, it becomes:
I still miss that look of fire that ignited my skin. Your love enlivened me; now your absence turns me to ashes.
The sentence because nothing remains of what once ignited us. is omitted, leaving the word ashes at the end, which I think is enough to express the impression of a helplessness.
Hopefully we can continue to develop ourselves through this course.
¡Holaaa amigo!🤗
Ha sido un viaje de experiencias muy enriquecedor y cada semana he comprendido que, escribir poco, es expresar más y esto es muy importante.
Excelente acotación amigo... Lo tendré en cuenta para las próximas prácticas.
Agradezco mucho tu apoyo... Un fuerte abrazo💚
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