Dear writer,

Congratulations for completing first task #microwrite03 :) For the second version, you've already achieved a commendable level of conciseness and impact.

I can just add that while the abrupt start is effective, but a little more context can strengthen the emotional impact. What do you say?

I know there are many aspects to consider. In a microstory, you don't have many elements at your disposal. You have to say more with fewer words... But I think that's the challenge. I write maybe ten, twenty versions before publishing and still don't get everything right.

For example, if you don't mind considering this:

You wrote:
Confused, she galloped toward the mountains, while her mother ran after her

Maybe you could say:

Confused and terrified she galloped into the mountains, her mother chasing after her.

I added terrified along with confused and replaced running with chasing... This change suggests that the mother wasn't merely running but actively chasing her terrified daughter.

But these are mere friendly suggestions. Of course you know your story better.

Wish you all the luck for challenge.

_{@joslud @solperez}