The Retarded Newt

The Retarded Newt desperately desired a can of Tango that they sometimes insert somewhere. It might have been a fairly original suggestion, to me, but not to the Newt, who thought it was sublime. A can of Tango would be the thing that was chosen.

The Retarded Newt owned a vibrator that they would put down their trousers. This could be considered a fairly bizarre approach to life, to my grandma, but not to the Newt, who expected that this idea was fun. Strangely, a vibrator would be the item that was chosen.

The Retarded Newt carried a bottle of wine that they would sometimes put down their trousers. One might find this to be a fairly curious thought, to me, my mum and my dad, but not to the Newt, who had decided it would be epic. Bizarrely, a bottle of wine was the chosen item.

The Retarded Newt desperately searched for a melon that they liked to smash. It is a fairly strange proposal, to my dad, but not to the Newt, who had come to the conclusion it would be entertaining. Honestly, a melon would be the thing that was chosen.

The Retarded Newt desperately looked for a toilet brush that they would often smash. It would be a fairly funny operation, to me, my mum and my dad, but not to the Newt, who thinks that it was in fact, miraculous. Bizarrely, a toilet brush is the item to select.

The Retarded Newt desperately wanted a condom that they would often embrace. It should have been a curious action, to my mum, but not to the Newt, who thinks that it was in fact, stunning. You wouldnt have imagined, a condom was the chosen thing.