RE: Reflecting On The History of TribeSteemUp
Maybe you should tag this video in the chat somewhere where people will see it when they join.
I’ve done this thought experiment a few times “How would it feel if Kenny took me off the list?” Obviously it would feel like a punch in the gut, but I’d have to keep reminding myself that you were just a stranger who wanted to make life a little easier for some people who were doing good things and that you don’t owe me anything.
Obviously gratitude is a better response, but it’s also something we have to cultivate in ourselves.
It must be a challenge to get taken off the list, and I think it goes deeper than entitlement. I think it’s about this victim mentality that most of us have been stuck in at some point, and many people feel indefinitely. We’ve all struggled and a lot of times we can’t see what we have gained from those struggles and so many people feel undervalued when there isn’t a clear metric for the value that they add. So when they stop seeing the upvotes, It’s probably more of a “fuck my life” than a “fuck Kenny” but the victim mentality does not leave us with a high capacity for elaborating on our emotions.
Not defending anyone who lashes out or saying it’s fair for us to expect anything from you or Jimmy (not James haha) but it’s a really tough thing to have things working out and suddenly disappear obviously. This would be a good weekly question “How would you react if Kenny took you off the upvote for some reason or other?” 😆
Anyway, thank you for seeing the value I bring, as well as so many other great people and thanks for making us aware of each other! May delegation and tribeians (no autocorrect, not tribunals) remain bountiful :-)
That's a great point. I guess in some ways I see entitlement and victimhood as two sides of the same coin, as they both revolve around a sense that what happens is happening to us, that it's not really our responsibility, but it's what the world owes us (regardless of what we do) or how the world treats us (regardless of the role we played)
I remember how I felt... 13 months ago maybe? Whenever it was that Jimmy sent me that message about pulling his delegation. Not only was I losing the majority of the rewards for my posts (my only income source), but then I had to take that information to everybody in the tribe. Obviously the fact that it was affecting all of us brought us together and seemed to spark a lot of problem-solving mindsets into work, but you could feel the way we all sort of got the wind knocked out of us.
I certainly could have handled the conversation better (and obviously wasn't planning on it being a public conversation either), but overall I feel pretty good about how I communicated. Certainly a hell of a lot better than I would have a couple years ago. Honestly, as the other person goes farther and farther over the edge, it becomes easier and easier to not take it personally and know that the emotional turmoil certainly wasn't about me.
Have you ever read The Voice of Knowledge by Miguel Ruiz? I read it about a month ago, and it's just seemed more and more relevant ever since. Focuses on the stories we tell, the fact that nobody is ever talking about or reacting to us, but simply the character in their movie that we are a placeholder for.
Thanks for dropping in and giving your insight brother!
Victim hood and entitlement as two sides of the same coin....that's a pretty interesting way to understand it that I want to explore. We certainly did get the wind kind out of us. It's really a challenge to get beyond that mentality of separation when shit isn't working out
I will check out that book too!