Great post.

I heard the other day, from Jordan Peterson, we often think we hold on to memories because we want to remember fun stuff, but he argues thats not true.

We remember what we need to survive, and thrive. We recall challenge only for so long as we need to "process" it, kind of like you are saying. We can put it down, if we are able, and move on.

BUT we have to be ready or we cant. How do you get ready? He explains but the short answer is work through our fears and stress with help from a professional.

One other thing he says is we think of the past as done, and irreversible, and though it is kind of, it also isnt. We can absolutely change how we feel about the past and in so doing change the past. Example: you see a new movie, you are loving it, its fun, exciting, etc, but then it ends terribly, its got no meaningful conclusion and suddenly we hate the film. The present in this way changed the past enjoyment to dislike.

Another example: you love a girl, you have a long and great relationship, then you find out she was cheating for years. Does that change your experience of joy these past years? Yup. You start doubting the reality you accepted. You change what the past reality was in light of what you now know in the present.

Interesting stuff.