Mini Motivation #29 - Is "fake it until you make it" really good advice?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure you've heard that before:
Fake it until you make it.
It essentially means even if you have not achieve a certain goal yet, you should act as if you've achieved it, so that it will trick your brain into thinking that it's real, that it's possible, that it's achievable. Many thought it to be a good hack to remove self-doubt.
So they would say things like, "If you want to be a successful entrepreneur, just act like one".
But you see, the problem of faking it is, when you eventually do made it, are you still a fake? How long do you need to pretend you are someone or something, before it becomes a reality? And besides, this renewed confidence, this forced charisma, is it even real? Or is it something we made up in our minds? Or is it something we project to the world, a show?
When you start loosing confidence in this false sense of assurance, that's when the whole charade may fall apart, leaving you doubting sometimes even your true accomplishments.
So, what's the alternative?
If you want to achieve something in life, instead of creating a fake persona of yourself, have a strong why, a sound purpose. From that "Why", ask yourself what values you need to internalise, what attitudes your need to adopt, what habits you need to cultivate. The change must come from within, aligned to your own personal values. It not only must feel real, it must feel right. The kind of "right" that even when challenged, you'll stay true on your path and keep your eyes on the goal.
Mini Motivation is my own daily strategy to inspire myself. Mostly 3 minute reads.
From Motivation, we gain Inspiration. From Inspiration, we achieve Momentum. And the rest, they say, is history.
Hope it helps nudge you a bit too in the right direction.
Oh it did? Let me know in the comments, and of course an upvote would be a nice motivation for me. :)
Stay awesome!
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hmm I don’t know. Fake myself? Not sure if I can do that...
Anyway great advice.
Upvoted and followed!
Nothing's better than the original, eh? Following you too.
Sometimes I just lie to myself to forget the hurdles I have to face. Yet going through life we may forget how far we come when we keep lying about where we are headed. Clear vision means clear goals. Better to know who I am and work on what I want to improve to be better. Thanks.
I can totally HIGH-FIVE you on this!
Yup, without self-reflection, sometimes we may not even know when we're living a lie...
From my personal experience- faking until you make it is not so good. Because when you finally make it, you take it for granted since you believed already for some time that you already have it.
Haha, can't differentiate between illusion and reality, eh?
This is so true, I still remember my manager told me to conduct internal training to my department and that was my first-time conduct training. I told her I wasn't ready and not confident to do so. She gave me some tips on how to look confidence so that I will look like I've experienced on doing so. In fact, I followed her tips and phew I did it. Then, she told me I have to fake it (feel confident) until I make it. I need to feel confident in front of audiences and do not panic. I need to visualize myself talking in front of audiences with confidence and so on. It works on me, and I now very comfortable to do presentation/ training in a small group like max 20 audiences. From low confidence to have high confidence and knowing the purpose of the presentation/training to the audiences that motivate me to continue to do so.
So for me, it will be like I need to fake it at first to gain more confident or whatever to certain stage until I feel comfortable to do so then why comes in.
Thank you so much @maverickfoo for this great post, you remind me how I started my first presentation. :)
Like the great Mark Twain once said, "We're not smart enough to remember everything. That's why we need to be reminded."
I forced my self to believe that I can be a "someone" even though I've no experience in doing it before. The company I'm working for lacks staffs, so they have no choice but to send a young and inexperience guy to take care of a project site. I was just a technician back then, but had to forcibly level up my responsibility and knowledge equal to that of an engineer. It was a good learning experience though, that molded me into what I am today.
Glad to know you step up to the challenge! Most would duck out, but because you took the opportunity, looks like you're ahead of your peers now. Fortune favors the bold, eh?
You are right, with the experience I gained, I was able to step up my career further.
Coincidentally, I just finished writing a post yesterday almost similar to "Fake it till you make it". I'd like to have your opinion.
The why is to be happier at work.
The How is bring out the traits and values of the strengths in you, or strengths that you want to have.
So that grey area is "the strengths that you want to have". Let's say I want to be kind. So I consciously think of ways to be kind and act on them.
Does this mean "fake it till you make it?"
I think it's quite hard to fake kindness. However, in the process of practicing kindness, you'll find that it will become more natural to you. For 2 reasons.
Humans are generally kind in nature, but circumstances make us behave selfishly. By practicing kindness, you'll be reconnecting with your roots, your original intentions for the world.
Kindness is not a skill, but an attitude. I believe it's worth investing in working on your attitude, even if it's uncomfortable at the beginning. Rather faking it, you've developed proper understanding of why kindness is a worthy practice. Attitude internalized!
The word you chose practicing instead of faking is a huge difference.
What skill or attitude you practice? vs Who you are faking?
I agree with you that we are born kind and good. And our attitudes were strayed off the path in our lifetime.
Throughout my journey in practicing kindness, first moments are awkward, I feel like "This is not me" but it's a process I must go through to internalize kindness.
Thank you for your opinion. I'm clearer now.
Haha, yeah, awkward is the word! It's sometimes easy to look at kids, before the adults affect (ahem pollute) them too much. Naturally, kids are kind and curious. I like to think we all were. :)
That's why sometimes it's good that we act like children (but not childish), that's to regain our curiosity and creativity, and kindness of course :)
Thanks @maverickfoo. I know coming from a Internet Marketer's viewpoint "fake it til you make it" has real negative connotations!
It means people are openly portraying like they are practically millionaire marketers when in fact they have hardly made anything. It's a delusion and it's definitely being a deceptive fake trying to fool others.
The good thing about Steemit is...there is total transparency. So you cannot pretend to e someone you're not. The personal stats are right there for everyone to see :)
Thanks for your excellent Post.
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Haha, so true. Blockchain advocates trust, so that makes keeping it real, well, real easy!
I really agree with this post. I think making your own brand of personality something attractive far outweighs cheap imitation. I'll be looking out for more of your content. Followed and upvoted ya :)
Thanks, and glad to know we're on the same page!
I first heard this advice about faking it till you succeed from a book "How I raise myself to success from failure". This is nearly 30 years ago. Faking it meant to have that inner confidence as if you have already attain the desired goal. Thos can applied by visualisation and charnting self affirmation mantra.
On the other hand, if the confidence is hyped up due external factor such as to owning luxury accessories such as rolex watch, a new mercedes then it could lead to dissapointing results.
I think some people took the advice too literally, and they look for a coating of materialism to feel good about themselves.
Yes, the original intentions of the quote is to boost self confidence and eliminate self doubt. Gotta look out for that book. Sometimes it's fun to read old books to sport authors who have amazing foresight.
Fake it till I make it...Hmm.. sounds tiring to me haha but sometimes I catch myself telling myself that too.. I agree on the why, we need to be reminded of why we do what we do! Thanks for the post! Dont just believe it because it feels right, but deep down may we see them align with our values too!
Glad you agree!