DYNAMITES IN MARRIAGE FOUNDATION!

Major features of a house, like its size, height and shape, are already determined by the foundation laid for it. Any attempt to make the foundation carry a structure that is significantly different from what the foundation permits may result in a disaster. Similarly, certain acts of commission and omission during courtship and early in a marriage attract certain inevitable consequences in the course of the marriage.

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They include the following:

IGNORANCE OF WHAT MARRIAGE ENTAILS

• Preoccupation with what to get out of the marriage, and not what to give to the marriage to succeed. This is selfishness and it destroys relationships.

• Not receiving a good premarital counseling. Long courtship, maturity in age, high level of education, spiritual maturity and even Bible and pastoral training should not preclude the necessity for premarital counseling.

WRONG RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD

-Failing to acknowledge God as the designer of marriage, and His goodwill behind the design. This is why some wrongly perceive marriage as "a necessary evil."

• Not trusting God enough to be guided by the Bible, His "Operational Manual" for successful marriage. The success of a marriage cannot be guaranteed when the union operates under a value system that is contrary to that which God prescribes in His word, the Bible.

• Failing to marry a child of God as the Bible commands (2 Corinthians 6:14).
  Consequently, many end up having the devil as their "father-in-law."

  DECEIT TO PROSPECTIVE SPOUSE

• Employing demonic powers to win the love of your prospective spouse. Satan gives no free gift. So, when eventually he makes his claim on that marital "love" - as he does invariably, the marriage may hit the rock.

• Hiding the facts of your premarital sexual escapades from your would-be spouse. Should you decide to confess this aspect of your past, do it discretely and with the counsel of mature and godly adult(s), so that it does not have a destructive ripple effect.

• Hiding the fact of your previous marriage from your would-be spouse. There is no secret under the sun. It is only a matter of time — the bubble will burst and then ..... !

• Hiding the facts of your abortion(s) from your would-be spouse. "He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion" (Proverbs 28:13).

WRONG ATTITUDE TO SEX

• Engaging in premarital sex. God prohibits sexual intercourse outside the confines of legal marriage as a sin of adultery or fornication. Unless the sin is repented of and forsaken, it has consequences both in this life and in the life to come (Proverbs 6: 26 — 29; 1 Corinthians 6:9, 10). Among them may be mutual distrust as regards sexual fidelity in the course of the marriage.

• The practice of "trial marriage." If the marriage fails the "trial" the couple part ways, both parties become divorcees, which God hates (Malachi 2:16; Mark 10:11, 12).

• Entering into a holy marriage and failing to accept sex within the marriage as a holy gift from a holy God. Sex within a holy marriage is to be mutually enjoyed frequently, with gratitude to God and to your spouse (Genesis 2:25; 1 Corinthians 7:1-5).

• WRONG ATTITUDE TO MONEY

• Choosing a spouse primarily for financial benefits. This kind of marital love is not pure but hypocritical (1 Peter 1:22; 2:1). Read Romans 12:9 and Ephesians 5: 25 for the kind of love Christian couples are commanded to have for each other.

• An aversion to the principle and practice of common purse for married couples. By holy marriage, a husband and his wife have been united into one flesh (Genesis 2:24). Whenever they refuse to extend the oneness to their finances, they provide a crack through which their common enemy, Satan, can infiltrate their marriage!

Stay blessed.