A Pause I Never Expected

People often talk about writer’s block. I don’t really know what it means… but ever since I started Steemit, I have never stayed away from writing for this long.
And it’s not because I ran out of ideas,
or topics,
or because the words stopped coming.

Quite the opposite.

The thoughts are there. The words are there. But life keeps getting in the way.

My in-laws are here. It’s been more than a month now, and all I think about is:
“Lunch went fine… but what should I cook for dinner?”

They are not very demanding when it comes to food. Or maybe they are... Maybe I’ve never allowed things to reach the point where they would have to step out of their room and worry that the meal isn’t ready. I never let that confrontation or argument happen.

Maybe I get uneasy with confrontations.
Or maybe it’s simply this: if a task has to be done, why delay it?

But this is just one factor. There are many more.

Life seems to have paused at a strange point — a place where too many questions have taken up space in my mind. Everything feels tangled, heavy, frozen… as if there is a knot where all thoughts have gathered and stopped.

Every morning, after sending the kids to school, I stand by the door and think:
“I used to go to school like this every single day… then what happened? Where did all that time go? What did I make of it?”

It’s not that I regret not having a job. But at the end of the day, this is what life becomes for a woman, doesn’t it?

What to cook, what to serve, what the children like, what the husband prefers, what the in-laws need…
This becomes the rhythm of her days.

And I’m not ungrateful. Not at all.

But the truth remains:
A woman’s life, her sense of achievement, her measure of peace — it somehow always ties back to her home, her children, the happiness and comfort of those around her.
Their contentment becomes her anchor.

Today, as I sat down to teach the kids, it hit me again — what you can teach your own children, no one else in the world truly can. But the problem is… sometimes I get the time, sometimes I don’t. And sometimes, I simply don’t have the energy to even look at their books.
There are so many ways in which a woman’s energy gets drained… endlessly.

I sat down to take out the winter clothes, and suddenly half a dozen other tasks got pushed into the pending pile. And before I knew it, it was time to prepare lunch again.

I know people will say, “Why is it like this? Everyone in the house should share responsibilities.”
But that’s not how it works.

Even with my own children, I keep them so protected, so comfortable, and honestly, what difference does it make?
If I can do so much for everyone else, why wouldn’t I do it for them?

Maybe this is temporary.
Maybe it’s the exhaustion speaking.
Maybe it’s just a phase of quiet overwhelm.

But I’m writing this today… so maybe the block is melting.
Maybe the knot is loosening.
Maybe I’m slowly finding my way back — word by word.