Looks like we both took some time out... ;-)) My reasons were also related to real life and lots of little pressing problems. However, I chose all of them myself and am happy to do so. You're caught in the spiral that almost all women in your country get caught up in as soon as they start a family. Which generation will shake things up? Is it already your children who want a different life...?
It’s not a very common scenario in our setup. Even where I live, this is not the norm. And you know what—our religion doesn’t bind us to this arrangement either. You can even say that culturally, this system isn’t so persistent. And the people who do live like this usually either have some compulsion or their parents do.
Even I can shake things up and speak up for myself, but the point is—only if there is an alternative. The real issue now is for them to understand that they can either enjoy the privileges of being “guests” or they can share the responsibilities of the household. They certainly enjoy the first, but they don’t take any part in the day-to-day responsibilities.
Yes, they help out in other ways, but I feel that the exhaustion that comes from daily responsibilities is of a completely different level.
Coming back to the point: at the end of the day, taking all of this along peacefully is such a huge struggle that a person becomes completely drained. It’s not that they are bad people or villains — they’re human. And sometimes, that alone is enough to make things complicated.
One human living with another for so long, with power dynamics involved, with the expectation of respect, with their age demanding extra care, with their declining health in mind…
So we return to the same question: on whose shoulders does this responsibility truly fall?
I can be oblivious to this responsibility… but then will the peace of my home remain? Will my husband stay content with me? And will my own conscience not prick me?
This is how it is…
P.s: I read about your injury, and I’m really sorry — I should have asked you sooner. You’ve genuinely been in my thoughts. How are you feeling now? How is the recovery going?
Oh, I run, I climb stairs, I do gardening. All without pain and without aids. I can't do everything yet – squats or getting on a horse. It'll all come. With patience ;-))
See – you're thinking about others again...! I just think you're not ‘selfish’ enough, without blaming any system for it.
Couldn't said it any better maan🙃