I have nothing to give

The day after my unfortunate visit to my GP, I had to go to the dentist for a fallen filling. In the last 5 months, I have had 3 fallen fillings, probably from the stress, which is probably also quite normal. I don't see it as a problem, it's just annoying, for a number of reasons.
The dentist I found through recommendations, but this time the recommendation was successful, is a ready to help specialist. And yet, I refrain from saying "Wow" about him, something he probably deserves, simply because every time I have admired or said something nice about someone, that someone has always disappointed me. That was the case with my favorite Bulgarian singer Yavor Kirin, by the way, but that's a different, very painful topic. That was the case with my GP too, who I had no opportunity to praise in front of you, but I was warmly impressed when he called me kiddo and behaved so compassionately towards me the last time I visited him. The time before the last time, actually. On this occasion, my partner said, jokingly: "Leave this cyclophrenic." Because really, only such a condition could explain the totally different behavior on the same issue, on the same occasion, for the same person.

My dentist is always very impressed by the fact that to go to him, I have to travel between 80 and 100 km. depending on the route that can be taken, one way. By car. My partner drives me by car. I once went there by train, it's an hour and a half one way, but right now I don't have the opportunity to travel that freely during the weekdays, so I have to be driven. The time is also over an hour, and almost an hour and a half until you find a parking space and get to the dentist's office.
So, this time again, he started the topic: "So, wow, so you have to travel so much each time."
This was the day after the GP incident, so you can imagine how I felt.
"Well, I've already given up", I replied.
After trying to find a good dentist in the neighboring town and it turned out that most of them don't answer the phone at all, and the ones who do, they do a very poor job, I've already given up. In fact, when I first went to see this man by train, it was to improve the situation a little, to cover up the bad condition of my teeth after an extremely poor quality scaling by two young women in the neighboring town. He even did this for free then. And imagine how impressed I was! Especially after that previous such poor quality service. Even a little arrogant, at that. Therefore, the trip to him, these 100 km., 200 in both directions, is not some extravagance, but a necessity. It is a compulsion that I have chosen freely to keep my teeth in a better condition for as long as possible, instead of having them ruined prematurely by incompetent dentists and the inability to get to a dentist at all.

And regarding the other problem - that doctors and dentists in this city don't answer their phones, I was talking to my partner just recently. On the one hand, that seems right. A doctor or dentist, having too many patients on their list, usually can't handle them. This is usually done out of greed. GPs who accept many patients on their lists do this to get the fees that the state pays for each of them. They do this in the hope that these people will not appear at all, will not get sick or even if get sick, will not go for a check-up, as Bulgarians usually do. But they get nervous and start behaving inappropriately when these patients actually show up at their door, when they pile up in a queue, and you can't deal with them today, you can't deal with them tomorrow, the day after tomorrow and the days after that. That was the case with my previous GP, who I used to catch screaming hysterically early in the morning, coming into work, and generally behaving inappropriately at all times of the day. So I don't think they should be taking on too many patients.

But not answering the phone... Well, that's not right, no matter what we say. Because we're talking about doctors here. Doctors and dentists, people who, by oath and in theory, should always be available, well, okay, not always. But to pick up the phone and say: "I can't take you, my schedule is full. I could recommend this and that, point you here or there." But even if they don't point you somewhere... Just pick up the phone! It's just... human. Isn't it?

So I said - "I've already given up and I don't want to deal with the people of this city. Yesterday, for example, I was at my GP..."
And I briefly told him what a scandal had arisen because I asked to have my annual check-ups. And how my GP had told me that he wouldn't order some tests for me because I didn't need them. "How come you don't need them?", the dentist was, of course, surprised. "These are the annual examinations that everyone is required to have! It's not a question of whether you need them or not." (And I actually needed them.)
"I've never had a problem with my GP on such matters.", he said. "I would recommend him, but you don't have the right to register with him because you live in another area. He's actually my classmate and my whole family is registered with him, and I treat his teeth... So, you know..."

Yes, I know. All my life I have witnessed how people around me flattered my brother when it became known that he was going to become a doctor and after that also, now especially a lot. It's the same with my whole family - before with three more doctors, now with two more. Bulgaria during communism was in a special situation. Everything was received in exchange for something. You can't just get something. And you can't just pay for it. To get something quality, well-made, you have to have the contacts for it, someone has to have recommended you to someone, someone has called on your behalf, said a word about you, etc. Otherwise, nothing will happen. This is so evident these days too.

But hey, I have nothing to give. Nothing but the fee, the rate, the price. I have no connections, no references, I am not a celebrity, I have no friends in parliament to ring hospitals on my behalf to make doctors do their jobs and behave properly. I am just an ordinary person. Fated to die. As an ordinary person. And this sounds especially scary in Bulgaria, because no one can imagine the terrifying dimensions of such a fate that befell most Bulgarians. To have nothing to give.

Subconsciously or not, I always wear makeup when I go to the doctor. Sometimes I even pay attention to what I wear. And on second thought, I even remembered something: I was wearing a dress, a red dress, that time when the GP was nice to me, nice and compassionate. I've worn this dress other times when I've been to a doctor, and the result has always been positive. I had already noticed, from the day I went to register with him, that my GP was looking at me. Maybe this was normal, I thought, since it is expected that most of a GP's patients are elderly people. But even my partner, who was waiting with me in the corridor last time, noticed it, and every time the door opened in front of us, the doctor looked at me.
There was another doctor I went to quite a few times this summer, I somewhat trusted his diagnosis and treatment. However, when he started explaining something to me, he always stared at my chest. Well, I accepted that too. As long as he was nice to me and didn't make scandals, as long as he tried to put himself in my shoes...
Well, probably every woman here does this, probably every woman in general does this, I don't know. I try to look good because... I have nothing to give. Maybe that's why I didn't get along at all with my previous GP, who was a woman. Because even that doesn't help there. Well, it didn't help here either 🤷‍♀️

Thank you for your time! Copyright:	@soulsdetour
	Soul's Detour is a project started by me years ago when I had a blog about historical and not so popular tourist destinations in Eastern Belgium, West Germany and Luxembourg. Nowadays, this blog no longer exists, but I'm still here - passionate about architecture, art and mysteries and eager to share my discoveries and point of view with you.

Personally, I am a sensitive soul with a strong sense of justice.
Traveling and photography are my greatest passions.
Sounds trivial to you?
No, it's not trivial. Because I still love to travel to not so famous destinations.🗺️
Of course, the current situation does not allow me to do this, but I still find a way to satisfy my hunger for knowledge, new places, beauty and art.
Sometimes you can find the most amazing things even in the backyard of your house.😊🧐🧭|