You can't infuse humanity

I hope that young doctor who caused me the trouble to wait a whole month for the results of that sinister test, or rather, a whole month wondering how to get them after she offered to send them to me in a message, but never did... I hope that young woman wears a red thread on her wrist. You know, that tradition I told you about back then - wearing a red thread against curses, against evil eyes.
Why do I say this - because after she did this to me, to a suffering patient who needed help, who simply needed to get her results of some terrible tests that are not provided online, but only in person and on site, but are only performed in one place in the country, and that is in the capital... it is clear that I am not the only one to whom she has done something inhumane. She, as a doctor, as a representative of the most humane profession on earth...

I was recently on Messenger and saw the message I had written to her back then, after I couldn't find her phone number anywhere, to contact her and ask her again in person, over the phone, to fulfill her promise, or rather her proposal.
I had asked her in a message, polite and desperate, of course, because I was really desperate at the time.

This message has not been read to this day.

And every time I happen to see it on messenger, when I see her image in the profile picture, I... feel blocked. I don't feel anything. Just some amazement and great pain... for myself. For living in such a country, surrounded by such people... inhumane people.

Only later did I realize that I had confused her politeness and "desire to help" with humanity. Only later did I realize that her desire, task and function was simply to take this considerable amount of money in cash from me as a patient, to lie to me, to give the vain promise that she would send me the results in a message, something that she knew well even then that she would not do. But the money was taken, the task was successfully completed. That money, which is taken in this clinic only in cash and distributed irregularly into the pockets of the people working there, while they all work in appalling conditions with leaking ceilings, flooded corridors, waterlogged doors and outdated equipment and even furniture left over from the time the building was built, sometime during communism.

The task of collecting this money, no matter how, was accomplished. Nothing more was needed and was not part of her duties. That was her only duty. And the fact that I requested an invoice for this unregulated amount at the time actually made my situation even more difficult, and today I am even surprised that they even conducted this test. Well, I have a document for it, it should have been conducted. But...

Then, when I was desperately looking for a way to get my results remotely and asked about her on the phone, when someone finally picked up, they then told me, Dr. Valeva is sick right now. And then I instinctively thought, well yeah, it's normal for her to be sick after everything she's done to the suffering people. And that's why I say that I hope, after all, she wears a red thread. Otherwise, her situation will become unsalvageable at some point...

And now, why am I even telling you all this again, why am I returning to this topic again?

The topic is not over. Of course it is not. I was discharged from that hospital not with a diagnosis, but with two terrible assumptions, except for the third one, the results of which I struggled for more than a month to obtain - the one I just told you about again.

These assumptions were not just verbal. They were written in my epicrisis, in the documents with which I was discharged from the hospital.

Many times after that I asked myself how one tells a patient that they have cancer nowadays. Because I know very well how it was said and done years ago. Or at least how it was done in the family I was born into, where there are several doctors who had to tell someone that they had cancer. It was done very delicately, after much deliberation, and it was told to the loved ones, not to the person themselves, just like that.

I don't know if times have changed, or if people have simply become monsters, which has necessitated such a change in medical ethics.

Yes, I was in that hospital without an escort, I was alone, and there was no one for the doctors to turn to, no one else to give my epicrisis to, no one else to talk to. But...

I was told that there is a suspicion that I have cancer, so an extremely expensive test has to be done, a Positron emission tomography, for which you usually have to wait for months, but she, the doctor at the hospital, will arrange for me to have it done faster. I also had further blood tests taken to investigate another suspected serious illness.

Due to circumstances, I had a different scan done (not the PET), exactly on the area I was told I had cancer. And guess what - the doctors, other doctors at another hospital said they didn't see anything there, in that area.

And the other blood tests... well, I wrote three times to that doctor at the hospital. Three times I asked her to tell me the results of those blood tests, for this serious disease. Three times I also asked her to send me those X-rays where she claims she saw something (cancer).

And guess what - the messages have been read. But she just doesn't answer me.

And this isn't just some phone number that I found somewhere and to whom I'm sending messages against the will of its owner, we've already spoken on the phone on this number before I was admitted to this hospital and after that, documents were sent to this number, I had communication with this woman and she showed that she was "concerned about my condition" when she was discharging me from the hospital, or that's just how she wanted it to seem. Then she just stopped answering.

You would say, okay, this doctor doesn't have the time, that if she doesn't tell me the results of these tests, then these tests are negative, if they were positive she, as a doctor, as a human being, would take the trouble to answer, to warn, to give guidance, references. So if she doesn't answer now, then it means the tests are negative, I don't have anything to worry about anymore. Even though this very woman claimed that I had cancer and, oh my God... I don't even know how I got through that moment, alone, pierced by so many needles, abocats, having blood drawn so many times for tests (twice for this serious disease too), and what not, when I was told that I probably had cancer...
And even though she actually refused to show the evidence for her assumption... now I have nothing to worry about... maybe at least for these last blood tests...

Well, all wrong!

Yesterday I took the trouble to download my so-called "health record" to my phone. Bulgaria is not a modern country, nor technologically developed. Since a kind of expensive test is done only in one place in the country and the results cannot be obtained online, you can imagine how advanced this country is. The same is true with the health record. It was introduced in 2022. I guess under pressure from the EU because of the covid vaccines.
I assume it was entered in 2022, because this file contains the data of patients from 2022 onwards. For example, I wanted to see what vaccines I had as a child, but alas, there is no way to find out.
But there is other data that interested me in this case.
The file contains all the tests that were done after 2022. And guess what - blood tests for that serious disease, for which my blood was taken twice and for which I begged the doctor three times to tell me the results - were actually not done.

So when a doctor hides and stops answering you, it doesn't necessarily mean that everything is okay 😃
She simply did not conduct these tests. She may have provided the money for her department, taken from the health insurance fund, ordering this examination, she took it, but this test was never released. That is why I told you above that I am surprised that those expensive tests in the previous case, in another hospital, were even conducted. Because here they were not.

Yesterday I was thinking about writing to her again and telling her that I knew the tests weren't done at all. And that she should have just told me so I could get them done myself - somewhere else where I could, because she thought they were important (and were they really that important?)

Then I said to myself - leave that alone. You can't infuse humanity into people who have long been deprived of this trait. 🤷‍♀️

Thank you for your time! Copyright:	@soulsdetour
	Soul's Detour is a project started by me years ago when I had a blog about historical and not so popular tourist destinations in Eastern Belgium, West Germany and Luxembourg. Nowadays, this blog no longer exists, but I'm still here - passionate about architecture, art and mysteries and eager to share my discoveries and point of view with you.

Personally, I am a sensitive soul with a strong sense of justice.
Traveling and photography are my greatest passions.
Sounds trivial to you?
No, it's not trivial. Because I still love to travel to not so famous destinations.🗺️
Of course, the current situation does not allow me to do this, but I still find a way to satisfy my hunger for knowledge, new places, beauty and art.
Sometimes you can find the most amazing things even in the backyard of your house.😊🧐🧭|