RE: continued
I'm a freak of nature ... born premature a thing that shouldn't be
Dead at 6 months naturally from brain fleece infection, even back then the only reason im here is that the western drecklands were rich and more advanced back then.
There has been many after that, i am Final Destination 50 ...
The kid stood against the wall and in 3 years time knew all the mundane patterns, be it speech, motion or behaviour, perfect disguise ...
I have never been alone though always void of humans if i could prevent it, even later with a full house every day
i met someone years later she said what happened you were always sitting there on the side at that computer while everyone else round the table and couches and telly sharing war stories and what mother complained about that day
(lived alone long before most of the friends so it was convenient for them i guess .. actually we lived together ... about 10 years, longest i ever had)
The kid had Alice and the others ... way better company than kids, and cats, WAY BETTER COMPANY than kids , and that little computer they took away because that aint working and that will get you nowhere
every time
Alice taught us about timelines
the others many things
they dont speak english though, not even language
they went away when this place happened but before that i saw at one point that there was no future left, no branches, the timeline is dead, i remember telling my gf that day we were walking home towards the station coming from the city center
One of them i later dubbed Drill after the thing from the series ....
they told the kid many things and brought great understanding -
lists of words came later .. i remember lying in bed , the little one next to my grandma where the kid grew up and realizing the inevitability of death as i came to the understanding that she wouldnt always be there and it washed over me : the absolute inevitability of death
i asked so many questions about everything constantly that they just bought pop encyclopedia to keep me quiet
book pacifiers ... i was reading about the motion of planets and paracelsus and the others showed me things
i knew death before the age of five to be someone who's always there, and also the only truth in life : "death is coming"
SO
the short version would be that i was born somewhat deviant from the norm
ab-normal which here (and im sure in holland) is a word that has the colour bad, not a statistical term
weird ...
raar
en francais and in english its zeldzaam
here its something the white bloodcells need to attack
you live in the boonies and the dreck
im SURE you got that part growing up
i dont know what wisdom is
or intelligence
or good
or bad
localized phenomenon ... you cant cut your dick off in nigeria but beating your wife to death for showing her ankles is good practice, the guys who flew a plane into the towers probably thought they were the good guys
Trump probably knows he's not but doesnt consider himself bad
Putin (that wiseguy upthere) and uncle Xi are too pragmatic and pragmactical to be either as a concept
mohdi seems to be trying hard but isnt there yet and im not sure what fundamentalist hinduism defines as good and bad
i bet anders breyvik thought he was doing the right thing as a wakeupcall ...
and Obama bommed Yemen like a week after taking half the nobel prize from the girl who earned it fair and square
wisdom .. i know old people who are idiots, LOTS OF THEM , so wisdom cant be that
i know idiots with ten degrees ... so wisdom cant be that
so
what i do know is that greek thing :
"i dont know"
therefor i am the wisest of all greeks
and the oracle still speaks to me
even though most mundanes hear me speaking in tongues all the time
to me it makes sense
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People can claim whatever they want, but no one has a monopoly on wisdom. What is wisdom? I think it's personal, or at least for me, it's the people who give me something to think about.
I too was born far too early, and I won't repeat what my mother said when her mother asked her if she was in labour. She probably just flushed me down the toilet. Instead, she let me starve. The consequences of that today? Perhaps the fact that to this day I can hardly digest food and therefore eat very little. I also feel quite displaced, so I'm always on my own, and I always have been. When everyone else was together, I would hide away in a corner, reading, of course. Computers didn't come along until much later, just like television, because the living room was meant for customers, not for the children.
I've been through a lot, and that's putting it mildly. It doesn't make me happy, but it does make me self-reliant, and then there's my pride, of course. Given the kind of family I have, I'd rather die on the street than have to knock on their door, and that has never happened, not even when I spent years in bed, virtually disabled. The only consolation is that if something happens to me today, I can say that I made it through before and I'm making it through now, and if I don't make it, that's fine too, we'll just pull the plug.
Idiots come from all walks of life and all ages. It's certainly not true that I'm getting wiser with age, as my grandmother used to say. Some people never learn and never want to learn anything new, let alone accept anything from anyone else. They don't learn from their life experiences either, but hey, it's their life and everyone has to live it the way they want to or make the best of it. It is nonsense to claim that everyone has the same opportunities, because that is certainly not the case. Nor is it true that you should be happy that you were born in a Western country, because when I look around me, I see that for many people this is certainly not an advantage, quite the contrary. That ridiculous statement is also completely wrong, and you will be opened up is nonsense, because no one opens the door when you knock. If your family still helps you, then at least you have that advantage over me. Although I would not accept any help from them either, because there is always a catch. Well, a catch... it's more like a constrictor snake.
Finally, I want to say this to you: it doesn't matter what others think of you, whether they think you're speaking in tongues or think you're crazy. As long as it makes sense to you, as long as you benefit from it, it is as it should be and you can consider yourself lucky.
I would call you special.
🍀❤️
wakeupkitty