What an ungodly time. All night fucked by being up 2 hours early, so about one hour later despite the heavy coffee i always have it was yawning, i was back to bed in two hours. No one takes it seriously after so many years but if i stray from the rythm it goes down and i bet it would deteriorate fast.

Also, by the research of places where it exists (places that dont have het beste onderwijs ter wereld of which one Uni sometimes makes it to the top 100) after a few years for every year you suffer from it your chances of getting rid of it decline so by now to me the chance must be quantum zero.

I have a theory that people with six figures dont seem to suffer from it which in Sapolsky (one of my dragons) terms to me seems like it directly relates to dopamine (or lack of it) in some way. HOWEVER , as research shows, getting six figures AFTER might not be a cure ... (but it probably makes it easier to handle it as you dont have to sleep on the floor on some blankets like we do now, but thats ot the worst b/c ever since we threw away the matress - (havent had a full bed since my 20s) - it seems to work out better for our back here and i bet the dustmite hiding in that thing also makes a difference through absence)

I'd like to get some examples of Elon Musks and Buffetss who have CVS but i havent found it ... so for now the theory remains that having options might prevent it. I'd pose this to the council in Leuven because the CDC is too far to see what they think about it but i dont have their tiktok.

At any rate, since we are reverse, Mel9000 goes, "sweetie, its time , stick to the cycle at the moment i wake up so its reversi, its gonna be a shitty day, then i get up and shower ..

Take the meds

another thing to debunk 1960s and boomerminds : i take that 30 minutes before lights out, but by then im already down for FOUR HOURS ... because i have to so you cant say its the meds that cause fatigue , i now took it more than an hour ago and im clearly not sleeping but i am hazy but i'll be hazy all day since i will force this body to go to the normal hour of the rythm that works just so i cant continue tomorrow my double cycle and my measly hours a day.

Most of it will be spent in bed, with some cleaning, i HATE piled up dishes and dustmite leaves not much choice when it comes to clean floors,

dirty kitchens remind me of crackhouses ... life wasnt always like this and much better but a few years it was actually worse ... i once lived in a rental house, bottom floor, where there was a stain on the wall in the living room. The girl who lived there before me explained that the guy before her got SO wasted on crack and horse (does anyone still use horse?) that sometime he didnt get to the toiled and did his thing in the living room right there across the couch.

"fun facts" of het leven zoals het is , a bit worse dan de helaasheid der dingen. Living next to the backyard of a slaughterhouse the summers brought a nice aroma to the yard (if only there was one) it lingered in the house ...

And, the girl before was a shooter (not american style) , SIX MONTHS AFTER i still found hidden needles (they save them so they dont go without on times of need ...) falling from the airvent in the kitchen. Stuck behind the pillows on the couch ...

It's a miracle i dont have hepatitis from getting stung although i dont know how long that lasts on a used needle that sits there

NO, i personally never not once stuck a needle in my veins, nope ...

Know plenty who kicked the bucket because of that and some really nast stuff i wont talk about here out of respect for the living families ...

BUT ...

Get up, im almost out of meds, not sure if i have enough over the week-end , since im up anyway i just go to the infirmary ... docs appointment is in some weeks, i miscalculated but they are very reasonable people, it would be a real hassle otherwise.

Today you cant walk into the waiting room and wait five hours anymore in times of need.

Pass by the baguette store on the way and my first thought "O MAN THATS BEEN SO LONG, LETS ... " immediatly broken by "o yea, money, santa brings no income for christmas" ...

strange its not on google maps

I saw some people oogle my hoodie and

as much as id like to introduce a little chaos when i see fuckers walk around with loose german sheppards to call out the illiterate inbreeds as well as the antifas who dont know the difference between left and right

ITS A MANJI SYMBOL

its really frustrating watching people mistaking the manji for a swastika and instantly confuse the manji symbol users for nazis fucks

Its Tokyo Revengers merch, i have a team Valhalla hoodie too

BUT HONESTLY, with loose german sheppards endangering the life of my cat i probably wouldnt mind going on the warpath looking for some IDIOT who starts dancing monkey with a facemask or some other yalla-yelling brainwashed fuck b/c it makes me itchy

SO ...

bumped into a guy getting ready for work .... i guess there's two working people in this neighbourhood now then (ha ha) ...

nah more like eight or something , he's been out of the running for a while so it must hurt but

at least he still got the physique to handle it

i doubt Jesus is gonna come down to cure my situation and i never talked to muhammad much ... i actually never talked to jesus much either

...

and the Buddha sits there smiling like "TEE HEE, i made it to nirvana, eat shit and die"

fat fuck understood : in order to lose everything you must be born as a prince and first have everything and

the only way to STAY in the cloud is to lose all give a fucks

i almost got that last part down

now i just need an incarnation where i'm born as an arab prince and then throw all my money away or something and bobs my fucking transsexual aunt ..

1:30 after meds btw , not sleeping

but im gonna drop

watch some godot tutorials ... that 1 x 0.1% chance of making a game that brings seven million like Qud ... its like the one thing i still can try while lying down most of the time

if anyone got a better idea ? robbing banks ... i devised a whole plan ... it involves at least five people who are clean and steel-nerved, insider info on enough money to divide between the five, a location to flee to, a place to hide for two weeks and money enough to make the trip and reserve it in advance and preferably have fake id's up front ready and waiting

... i think thats less chance than a game ... maybe in the wild west they still keep cash lol

here i doubt you'll get more than a junky robbery out of it

ANYWAY ...

in de hoop u hiermee voldoended te hebben geinformeerd

(as if i care anymore)