The Retarded Woodpecker

The Retarded Woodpecker often carried a rubber johnny to cuddle. It might have been a fairly surprising proposal, to you, but not to the Woodpecker, who thought that this idea was epic. Honestly, a rubber johnny is the thing to choose.

The Retarded Woodpecker always carried a dildo that they would often break. It is considered to be a fairly different operation, to me and my husband, but not to the Woodpecker, who feels that this idea is simply life. Strangely, a dildo being the item selected.

The Retarded Woodpecker carried a custard pie that they liked to eat. It should have been a fairly different thing to do, to you, but not to the Woodpecker, who felt that the idea was miraculous. Bizarrely, a custard pie being the item opted for.

The Retarded Woodpecker always had with them a sword to put down their trousers. One might consider this to be a fairly bizarre activity, to everybody you know, but not to the Woodpecker, who feels that this idea is breathtaking. Honestly, a sword was the item that was opted for.

The Retarded Woodpecker had a stretchman that they liked to put on his head. It might have been a fairly astonishing exercise, to me, my mum and my dad, but not to the Woodpecker, who expected that this idea was magnificent. Strangely, a stretchman would be the thing that was chosen.

The Retarded Woodpecker carried a bottle of coke that they would often eat. One might say this is a fairly original undertaking, to you and me, but not to the Woodpecker, who assumed it was simply life. A bottle of coke is the item to select.