I still fear and worry about my father unable to drive me to and from the dialysis clinic a few years from now

Source - Cryptopie

Source - Cryptopie

Source - Cryptopie

Source - Cryptopie

Oh man oh man, I am living linger than I had anticipated, it is weird that I want to live long but I worry to outlive my loved ones, my immediate family members. It is because I am physically dependent to all of them like for instance if I want to go to somewhere or to the doctor, I must have my father drive me to such places like the bank and more importantly, to my dialysis clinic.

I might end-up like this one co-patient of mine which is actually renting a space inside the hospital which owns the dialysis clinic beside it where we go for our treatment. He has no choice but to stay in the hospital which I bet is very boring to endure because he is like imprisoned by his own situation, being tethered to the dialysis machine like me and could not break free because we needed to get our blood cleaned and fluids taken or removed from our bodies regularly.

In my case of I would outlive my parents I know that my siblings will have to help me out, it is automatic, the have to do something otherwise I will be in trouble deep. I really still feel alone right now more than ever especially if I would picture my situation like I mentioned and it does worry me much because too less people cares about me and my existence.

But I am still fortunate that I belong to the MCGI church because if I will tell my local brethren my problem like transporting me to and from my dialysis center, they will give the solution one way or another. For now that is only one of my major concerns because of course going to have my dialysis treatment will save my life and my father for one gives me that privilege to survive thanks to the mercy and grace of God to my wretched body.

My father is getting old and he may not renew his driving license the next time and I think his driving privilege will expire about less than four years from now. However at that point I might been even exist anymore but if God will prolong my life, we would have figured-out what to do and let me continue to live and survive. But I might see in that point in time that my fellow local church members will be the ones that will play a major role in helping and assisting me out, particularly for my transportation needs.

I already have my own functional and safe house where I think will be my final home. I had been in this place ever since I was born, I was not born in the hospital. It is pointless to look back and think about the things I had missed because I can't do anything about my life as God is directing my life into what I will become and I just wanted to do good in his sight for the reason that I want to live in the final better life in heaven, a life free from worries, physical and emotional hardships, a life free from pain, dangers, boredom, and all the negative and evil things which we are bombarded in this life in this world.

I must trust God because there are many evidence that God is with me all the time. However there will be a point in time much closer than I am expecting that I will be in a whole lot of trouble if I will lose the lovedones which cares for me. I am strong deep inside but my body is not and I can't help but worry since in my situation as a dialysis patient, a warrior, that in the end, I will face shameful defeat which nobody will care but at least I will get my rest.

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ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ɪᴍᴀɢᴇs ᴀʙᴏᴠᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴏᴡɴᴇᴅ ʙʏ @cryptopie 𝘶𝘯𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥

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