Mental Health: Don’t Give Your Energy to People Who Don’t Deserve it!
How do you feel at the end of the day? Do you feel energized by the interactions you had with other people, or do you feel drained?
We all have our reasons for choosing the friends we choose and for the way we interact with the people in our lives, but regardless of how we go about our choosing relationships either lift us up or pull us down.
Perhaps my perspective is a little bit skewed by the fact that as a counselor I talk to a lot of people who are going through difficult times. However, I think there are some general lessons we can learn.
If you feel completely drained at the end of spending time with somebody… even if you believe that they're a friend… it is wise to stop for a moment and ask yourself why it is that you are exhausted. What is it about this person that makes you feel so tired?
One of the most common things that makes us feel tired is when we set aside our own sense of inner peace and peace of mind in service of making sure that somebody else has their peace of mind.
This is often a trauma response that arises because a part of our past was dominated by people who more or less demanded that we focus our attention on them, while they did little to help us when we felt down. They might even have gotten angry if we were to point out that we’d have a difficult day.
At the time, we trained ourselves to ignore our own feelings about the situation in order to keep the peace.
It’s definitely not a healthy thing to swallow your emotional experiences just so someone else can have theirs!
It is, however, remarkably common for people to do this. And part of what makes it sad is the fact that people who take advantage of our good nature are often drawn to those who are generous and empathic.
The challenge is to learn to simply say no when something doesn't feel right, and when interactions drain our energy. At first, this will feel awkward and even wrong, but it's an important part of restoring our own sense of inner peace!
I appreciate you coming by to visit my blog, and Bright Blessings to all!
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