"Steemit Challenge s28wk6: Unexpected Chat's True Twist

in #writing-s28wk63 days ago (edited)

Anthony, the only son of a wealthy family, held an MBA degree. His father was determined to set him up with a large automobile garage business in a prime location, but because Anthony was a carefree and shy young man, he didn't like the idea of running an automobile business. Therefore, he kept putting off his father's business proposal with various excuses.

His father had secretly bought a large hall in a prime city location for this business and was simply waiting for his son's acceptance. He knew that his young son, though a little careless, would handle the business responsibly once he agreed. The father hadn't yet told his son that he had already secured a very large space for the automobile business.

This was the secret that Tina revealed to him during their first meeting. When Anthony heard from her that his father had bought a huge place for his automobile business, he was extremely surprised.

After that meeting with Tina, Anthony continued to float in a world of beautiful dreams about his future with her and planned to ask her many questions during their next meeting. Because he still couldn't understand why he was so captivated by the girl he kept seeing at the mall, and why he bought so many clothes there even when he didn't need them.

All he could think about was how and why this beautiful salesgirl had agreed to talk to him and have coffee with him at the cafe after just one request. And she had even suggested they have dinner together later. Anthony, filled with a sense of mystery, eagerly awaited that dinner.

That day when they hugged and parted ways, their hearts filled with wonderful thoughts about the days to come, and some unanswered questions .

And then the moment Anthony had been waiting for for several days finally arrived. He had booked a table for two in a corner at a large bar and restaurant called "The Neon Drinks and Dine," the place Tina had suggested.

As promised, Tina entered the restaurant at exactly 8 PM. Anthony had arrived just four or five minutes earlier and was sitting at their reserved table. Anthony's eyes widened when he saw Tina; she looked even more beautiful than she had at the mall. She was wearing a long, light pink gown, her hair was down, and she had on minimal makeup – all of which enhanced her beauty.

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Anthony rose from his chair to greet her and, like a true gentleman, pulled out her chair for her. A sparkle lit up in Anthony's eyes.

They didn't speak until the waiter had taken their order and served them. After that, Anthony told the waiter, "Please don't come back until we call you. We'd like some privacy."

After the waiter left, Anthony was the first to speak, starting the conversation with Tina while they ate, "You look even more beautiful today, like a fairy."

Tina blushed slightly and said, "I am beautiful, but at the mall, because of their rules, we have to wear uniforms."

Anthony couldn't hold back any longer and asked, "One thing is bothering me, why did you accept my request so readily and come to have coffee with me? Secondly, how did you know that my father had acquired a large property for me?"

Tina laughed confidently and said, "Oh, silly boy , I always saw you hanging around me, and I knew you were smitten with me. Maybe you don't know that God has given us girls extra senses."

"Then I did some research about you, who you are and what you're like," and only after I was satisfied did I say yes to you."

"But why did you offer me a business partnership on our first meeting, even though you knew that my father wanted me to go into the automobile business?"

Tina became serious and said, "Dear, actually, I also come from a very reputable and wealthy family, and I have a degree in fashion design, but I took this job as a salesgirl in this mall to gain some business experience.

Actually, I was also looking for someone with whom I could do a clothing business and also spend my life with."

"And when I found out that you are a decent and good person, and to be honest, the property your father acquired for the automobile business is the perfect location for selling clothes and fashion accessories."

"Then when you showed interest in me, my job became even easier, and today we are having dinner at a table in this hotel," and if you want, we will eat together like this for the rest of our lives.

Anthony breathed a long sigh of relief, now completely convinced that he hadn't chosen the wrong girl.

Hello to all my fellow Steemians,

I hope you enjoyed my story. I also want to invite three of my friends to share their stories here.@suboohi @jyoti-thelight ,@solperez and @sualeha
Your friend
Sur-Riti

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Week-6 : Unexpected Chat's True Twist

 
Hello @sur-riti, thank you so much for taking part in Steemit Challenge Season 28 Week-6. I truly appreciate the time and creativity you put into your entry. Your assessment, including feedback and scores based on my evaluation criteria is provided below:

CriteriaMarksRemarks
Story start to finish4.8/5Okay
Originality & Uniqueness2.9/3Good
Presentation0.9/1Okay
My observation0.9/1Okay
Total9.5/10
FeedbackYour story is okay despite a couple of missing facts. How did Tina know Antony's father had a big property for an automobile business for him which even Antony didn't know and that too in their first meeting? You changed the name of protagonist from Antony to Anthony.
Moderated By
@dove11

Thank you, sir,

There's no doubt that you, like an excellent critic, have examined my entire story with a very discerning eye. And you are absolutely right that the spelling of the protagonist's name is little bit changed , but you overlooked the fact that the heroine had gathered quite a bit of information about the protagonist. That's why she knew that his father had bought some property for him. And she even mentioned this during dinner.

"And when I found out that you are a good and kind person, and to be honest, the property your father bought for the automobile business is the perfect location for selling clothes and fashion accessories."

Nevertheless, thank you for your evaluation.