I enjoy your description. Your opening line here is great.

OK, this jumped to mind when I read it, I hope I don't offend.

It hurts.

That’s all I can say. Or rather, that’s all I can whimper. It hurts.

I lie back, stretching my legs on the fresh linen sheet that covers my bed. My baked nectarine flesh radiates sunburnt fever that blazes through its coolness in an instant.

now look at,

Entrails. No Hissing. This is the closest we will ever come to love.

I swing my legs off the bed and slide into my hunting boots. Supple leather that has molded to my feet. I pull on trousers, a shirt, tuck my long dark braid up into a cap, and grab my forage bag.

Your descriptions are not streamlined, not hyper efficient dollops that arc and roll the reader forward.

Your descriptions are like grabbing someone by the ears and saying "look at it!" Then the person looks and is in awe. In awe of what they're seeing as well as in awe of being grabbed by the ears.

Don't misunderstand me, I do not mean to say that your writing is offensive in any way.

The second quote, if didn't guess, is from Suzanne Collins' The Hunger Games. She is known for short terse descriptions that mean to grab a hold of the reader and not let go.

I believe her style in the novel suits Katniss well, no-nonsense, haphazard at times, and with a depth of feeling.

I think yours are smoother for the most part. I think yours are more descriptive. I don't know of many authors that can make a wordy description stand out more than a simple one. You pull it off though.