The Retarded Dildo

The Retarded Dildo wanted a can of Tango that they would throw. It was considered to be a fairly different action, to my children, but not to the Dildo, who felt that it was in fact, wonderous. Who would have imagined, a can of Tango having that done to it

The Retarded Dildo desperately desired a sword that they would cuddle. It would be a fairly unusual proposal, to me, my mum and my dad, but not to the Dildo, who thinks that this idea was miraculous. Bizarrely, a sword would be the chosen thing.

The Retarded Dildo desperately craved for a teapot to smash. It was considered to be a fairly bizarre activity, to my grandma, but not to the Dildo, who felt that this idea is out of this world. Remarkably, a teapot being the item opted for.

The Retarded Dildo had a mug that they would sometimes insert somewhere. This seems an odd idea, to my grandpa, but not to the Dildo, who had come to the conclusion that the idea was sublime. Bizarrely, a mug would be the thing that was opted for.

The Retarded Dildo desired a rubber chicken to try to nail to the wall. It might be a new proposal, to my grandma, but not to the Dildo, who had come to the conclusion it would be sublime. Honestly, a rubber chicken being the chosen item.

The Retarded Dildo always kept a bottle of wine that they would occasionally demolish. This might appear to be a weird and wonderful undertaking, to my grandpa, but not to the Dildo, who expected that this idea was stunning. Remarkably, a bottle of wine was the thing that was opted for.