Better Life: Loss and Grieving Doesn't Come With a Schedule
Yesterday, we said a final goodbye to our beloved family dog.
A we navigate our lives with a sudden "empty space" where there previously was a sweet-natured furry companion, we invariably come face-to-face with the pain of loss and the process of grieving.
Loss is an interesting part of the human experience because everyone has their own process. There's no "prescribed correct" way to grieve, and grief doesn't come with a schedule.
Sometimes it will feel like we are actually doing remarkably well and are handling the situation with aplomb... and suddenly — months later — some insignificant event will trigger a wellspring of emotions that seem to completely overwhelm and almost drown us.
Whether we lose a family member, a friend, or even one of our four-legged companions, most people are not really prepared for the sharpness of grief.
Pet loss fits into a category of its own, sometimes referred to as "Disenfranchised Loss."
What does that mean?
Well, consider that society — for example — puts a lot of emphasis into the overall idea that dogs are "man's best friend." We tell countless stories about the loyalty, unconditional love and bravery of these four-legged friends... and dogs enjoy a "special place" in the world.
And yet? When this highly prized companion passes away, it suddenly becomes "just an animal" and we are told that it is "sad" that our dog died, but we just need to "get over it."
Hardly seems consistent, does it?
For many people, the loss of a dog or cat can actually be more painful than the loss of a human. I suspect this holds true because our furry friends represent truly unconditional love in a way we don't typically find in our fellow humans.
And because our companion animals live shorter lives than us, the death of an animal is ultimately not just about that animal, but about all the animals we have had in our life.
The single passing serves as a gateway that reminds of every previous pet we have loved, and who has passed away.
So when we lose a pet, let us be gentle with ourselves, and with each other and not impose "shoulds" on people, as to how they must handle their loss and grieving.
Telling someone to "get over it" when their dog or cat just died is hardly helpful, and it certainly isn't compassionate, either.
Thanks for visiting, and Bright Blessings to all on this Remembrance Day weekend!
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Gorgeous looking dog, am very sorry for your loss. It is very hard when our pets pass on, they have there own personalities and sometimes almost forget that they're animals! Haha. They teach us so much, especially unconditional love like you said. Sending healing to you! 💗
Thank you for your compassion! We do learn a lot from our companion animals, and I'd like to think we're better people as a consequence.
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Thank you!
Terribly sorry for your loss :(
There are no words fit for such whole in ones heart
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