Psychology: A Conversation is not a Contest!

Sometimes I sincerely fear that our hyper competitive and aggressive world is responsible for bleeding over toxic behaviors from the workplace into our daily lives.

Part of what is setting off alarm bells for me is the fact that it often seems like people don't know how to be in conversation with someone, anymore.

Sometimes I find myself trying to have a dialogue with someone — be they friend or counseling client — and the whole tone of our interaction takes on a feeling of competition, like they're trying to "win" the conversation.

Have we lost the ability to simply connect and share information, without the intent that somebody should be victorious or dominant in the situation?

I experienced this even with relatively kind and soft spoken people, and it leads me to wondering how we got to this place?

What worries me about it is that when somebody is competing they tend to lose sight of interaction as a way to connect with somebody, to find common ground, and to come away with both parties enriched by the interaction and feeling good about themselves.

And then we wonder why it is that people complain that they're having it more and more difficult time forming meaningful and deep relationships with anyone.

I would submit that part of the culprit here is the fact that people's alleged conversations are getting more and more aggressive, and it's very difficult to be emotionally intimate with someone when you are feeling aggressive.

Not everything is a debate!

While I can appreciate that people feel the need to survive in an aggressive world, I think it constitutes a great risk to our personal wellness, as well as to our heart and soul, when we bring this kind of aggressiveness into our personal relationships.

I see many clients who complain about their partners not being able to be vulnerable, yet their own tone indicates that they are also not being vulnerable and perhaps they don't even know how to be.

Softness and gentleness is not weakness!

Compassion and consideration are not weaknesses!

That's with many of life's difficulties and challenges, the healing here begins with simple awareness of what your patterns are and what you're doing. In addition, be mindful that what you are accusing others of doesn't apply to yourself, as well.

I appreciate you coming by to visit my blog, and Bright Blessings to all!

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