My Stupid Jerk

My Stupid Jerk owned a bottle of wine that they would occasionally share. One might say this is a weird activity, to my dad, but not to the Jerk, who expected it would be out of this world. Who would have thought, a bottle of wine being the chosen item.

My Stupid Jerk owned a painting of a melon that they sometimes smash. This could be considered a fairly exciting activity, to me and my parents, but not to the Jerk, who thinks that the idea was miraculous. Who would have imagined, a painting of a melon would be the thing that was selected.

My Stupid Jerk desperately searched for a little monkey that they liked to share. This is certainly an astonishing approach to life, to my grandpa, but not to the Jerk, who assumed it was magnificent. Bizarrely, a little monkey is the thing to opt for.

My Stupid Jerk always carried a pint of cider that they would sometimes experiment on. It was considered to be a fairly peculiar operation, to my dad, but not to the Jerk, who had decided that this idea is stunning. Bizarrely, a pint of cider was the thing that was opted for.

My Stupid Jerk often carried a magic 8 ball that they sometimes put in the bath with him. This seems a fairly bizarre operation, to my neighbour, but not to the Jerk, who had come to the conclusion that this idea is breathtaking. Who would have imagined, a magic 8 ball being the chosen thing.

My Stupid Jerk wanted a cucumber that they would sometimes put up their bum. This seems to be a funny idea, to my grandpa, but not to the Jerk, who had decided that the idea was sublime. A cucumber would be the thing that was chosen.