I've been missing my former outdoor activities and then some more than ever before
The only closer thing for me to be outdoors is to sit in a backyard with at least some fruiting trees which I can eat while relaxing or relaxing while staying on a comfortable terrace of our house. However, both is not available for me to spend my time with because our terrace then was now an unused room while the original terrace itself is always hot because it is exposed to the afternoon sun while located on the ground level of our small Bungalow house. The small space at our backyard is not good to stay with either because it is where the small artesian pump is located, as well as the place where we cook our meals, and that small patch of soil where we are keeping some vegetables where a few already had been killed by my father. My father by the way is very clean in the garden, so much so that when he has nothing left to clean he would proceed to either replant them or clean them off out from that small space where even the soil itself is anemic.
Your eyes could get cancer if you look at that place, the years of using waste oil as kindle to the wood stove had already blackened the corrugated roof above it, where the metal itself which feels like more than an over when you sit below it which make sit not an ideal place for relaxing even during the night because of the mosquitoes and whichever would disturb from the three animal species like rats from the adjacent drain canal from which these creatures are thriving because it is being used by our neighbor who happen to have a catering service and drains their waste water with some leftover food with it which the said rats are eating and sustaining from. Feral cats are also present in our neighborhood and from time to time would fight anywhere from the roof of our house or beside my room, wherever. Generally, sleeping outside your home feels terrible and scary because of these said creatures that are omni present in most neighborhoods.
But the outdoors that I wanted to roam on are just simple places, probably a friend farmer's backyard where I can get to experience catching fishes from the small savannah located near their rice farm and enjoy eating with them. I did had the chance to buy a CO2 gun and shotgun but because of lack of company to use those and the fact that I was getting weaker too, I can never get back to what I wanted to do in nature in general anymore. I am forced to forget in being outdoors or being with my friends doing some rather crazy but fun stuff and the things that I had planned to do but now is really to late to do. All that I can do if God wills it is to try to make a better house which my parents and I can enjoy living from, an ancestral home which in time to time can will be the main place which my siblings and their family can visit and gather when special occasions would come to happen for the next few years.
Upvoted! Thank you for supporting witness @jswit.