RE: How does one deal with/accept a loved one who displays self-destructive behaviors? [Dabbing with a Mage episode 181]
Thank you for your kind and empathetic response. I find it extremely helpful and promising to hear of your experience battling trauma and addiction with someone you feel extremely close and intimate with. The struggles are very difficult, but I do believe we have made much progress and hearing of your own success only strengthens what I believe to be true.
I learned about speaking about feelings through a brief encounter with nonviolent communication. It’s been really helpful for me to get my feelings out rather than have them brewing and avoided and context. It’s also been very interesting, because now when I hear people say accusatory statements I want to be empathetic and hear their feelings and the statements. However, that is Very difficult When in the midst of anxiety and triggers.
Again, thank you very much for your wonderful response.
Yes, it's possible for sure. My immediate thought was your age as well... we were both 30 when we met. I think its an age where you are more circumspect and less likely to buy into same patterns of past as they no longer serve you. And if you've learnt to be less accusatory and willing to look at any conflict through other prisms, then that will help. Oh.. and taking a breath! Giving space for whatever you are feeling, both of you. As well as the breath out ... never go to sleep on an argument, never leave the house on an argument!! Always realise that love is bigger than the other stuff and you have to CHOOSE that every.single.time.
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