Living with painful memories

Life is not moving in straight line all the time, we all have our shares of ups and downs, pain and fun moments. For a long time, I can say till I was in my mid 30s I lived with a lot of painful memories of my childhood times. Anything that would go wrong in my life I would link it with my childhood past. Being very honest, I was never happy. The person I am today is a 350 degree changed person. I was a very negative person, always complaining and never happy with my life. If good things would happen then I would be ok, but the moment anything would go wrong I would go in to the victim mode.

As life was moving ahead I did realize that I needed help because living in negativity my quality of life was not very great. I did work a lot on myself, healing up my wounds and gradually I did see the change, it took a long time, many years. The change did not happen overnight, I had to go through lot of healing. When I started getting into a better place, I could see the difference in my life. From being a negative victimized person, to become a positive gratitude filled person, it took me around 5 to 6 years, and I started feeling wonderful about myself. I was no longer going back to my past.

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I did understand in the process, that past is past, it's not going to change, the only thing that will change is my future, and if I do not let go off my past I am going to mess up my future also. This understanding took a long time to seep in to me, but when it did there was no looking back. Now when I look back at my past I do understand that it was all my learning curve that I had to go through to be the person I am today. Good things and bad things keep happening, it's all part of Karma and we all go through it, so every experience is a learning, which one must take and move forward and not get stuck into it.

Painful memories of past will only bring pain if they are taken into future also, but just taking them as an experience and understanding what it was trying to teach you, will help in not get entangled into it and also it will help to bring peace with yourself and a good positive future.

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