Leave or Stay? What's Your Take On This??
Hello besties, how are you doing? @gracewealth01 is here but not with a diary game this time buy rather seeking for advice. I don't know if I told y'all before now that I'm a Counselling Psychologist in the making but if I didn't, please know it now. I have an issue that's bothering me and I've tried in my own terms to oroffer solution to it but it seems I'm biased in my judgement, that's why I decided to bring it here so I can get your opinion.
I have been pondering lately on an event that happened in my life some months back, I went out to have a drink with a friend of mine and that got my guy upset and he said some nasty words to me and even went as far as breaking up with me. This happened a month after my birthday, I tried apologizing to him and working things out but he seemed solid in his decision to part ways with me. I became very I'll last month and needed money for a minor surgery, I called and informed him about it and asked for help and he bounced the call on me.
I moved on and began to come with terms with reality, three years relationship is gone just like that. I began to be serious with my life and last week, this guy was in my DM asking that I forgive him for acting on impulse and wants us to get back together. I politely dismissed the idea and asked that we remain in each other's past, I reminded him of every word he said to me which I never thought he'd come back to ask for forgiveness after saying such things. Some days passed and my mom called to talk about this same guy, everyone in my family is asking me to forgive him meanwhile they don't know the pains I went through in that relationship.
I do advice people that whatever drains you mentally and emotionally shouldn't be pardoned and that's what I faced but my family ain't understanding with me but rather they tag me to be pompous and not submissive to a man, what should I do? Have you been in a situation like this where your family choses to believe a stranger over you and refuse to give you a listening ear? Please, help guys! I'm lost and don't know what to do anymore. I'll be anticipating your input, thank you so much besties.
Hello
I just read your content..this is my opinion, you can decide to take it or leave it, it's your choice.
Seriously, I know that many will tell you to forgive but this is beyond forgiveness..You can forgive him and let him go his way. Nothing more.
What he did was a red flag. He would have even had sympathy that you were to undergo a surgery, and even if he doesn't have the money to give you, hanging up the call was out of it.
He doesn't trust you..what is the probability that he would repeat the same action? Relationship is not a do or die course. If you are sure you don't want him then stand your ground with your family besides they are not in it with you and if the relationship eventually leads to marriage, they won't go in there with you.
You are a Nigerian and you must have heard stories of assaults happening in relationship and marriage.
There are things you forgive and go back to but there are things you forgive and move on with your life. The choice is your!
I just feel a man who has trust issues, brash or harsh with words, unforgiven and non empathetic is a no no! Because these ingredients birth more things like physical assault, hostility and the rest.
Thank you so much ma'am, this was the comment I was looking for. Atleast someone has seen it from my own view.
Hi there, your comment is interesting to read, keep up your engagement, you are awesome
Thank you so much for your observation and kind words on my post, I really do appreciate it.
I'll continue to drop insightful and inspiring contents for my Steemit family because our guys are now apart of me and with your continual support, I'll be encouraged to do even more.
Thank you once again, I'll really appreciate your kind words on my post.
It was interesting to read your article. I have been in many types of relationships in my life. Regardless of the type, all relationships should at least include respect in both directions. Of course, this is not always the case. At that time, it is up to us where we set the boundaries. Whether we will tolerate certain things or not. This also sets a "price" for how others see us. When I look back, especially since I have always been kind to people and tolerant, many have allowed themselves to be disrespectful. As much as I allowed. It really depends on where you set the boundary for yourself. That is why they say that you have to love yourself. You only allow others to treat you as you allow yourself. The more you love yourself and treat yourself well, the less you will let others treat you worse. Everyone sets this boundary for themselves. I can personally say that all relationships that were not healthy have fallen apart. Colleagues, friends, partners, associates... it doesn't matter. When it comes to an intimate relationship, it's important to be able to relax and feel safe with someone. If that feeling isn't there, every minute of wasted time is a waste. Looking back, how much time I spent on people who weren't worth my presence... oh, if only I had known sooner. But it's never too late. Years ago, I purposefully changed my environment, I moved just far enough away to see which of my acquaintances and friends would visit me. Believe me, the number is small. But the ones I'm in touch with today are the right ones. Quality is better than quantity. As for the opinions of your family... unfortunately, you will live your life. Only you know your inner self. Respect yourself and love yourself. People come and go in life. But you will always live with yourself. For that reason alone, love yourself and don't let anyone make a fool of you.
Hi there, your comment is interesting to read, keep up your engagement, you are awesome
Upvoted! Thank you for supporting witness @jswit.
Hi Grace, greetings from Germany...! Jealousy exists here too – whether justified or unjustified. Personally, I consider it a completely unnecessary emotion; no one belongs to anyone else, no one has a claim on another person.
Your boyfriend didn't trust you in a certain situation. Whether justified or not, isn't trust the basis of a good relationship? It seems to me that there was something else going on...
On the other hand, people make mistakes and forgiveness is not the worst reaction. Can you forgive him? Or can you expect new jealousy at the earliest opportunity?
How does the rapprochement feel for you? Do you trust HIM now?
As you can see, I can't give you any real advice, just a little life experience... ;-)) All the best!
Hello,
You're not far from the truth, jealousy was another thing I battled with and I'm not ready to go through that lane anymore.
I've forgiven countless times even when I'm not at fault but right now, I want to prioritize my mental health because it's at stake. I can't go back there, it wasn't appealing but my nightmare right now is my family who wouldn't let me rest.
I so much appreciate your input, thanks for your time and kind words.
Greetings to you, in your article, you went out with a friend of yours. I have some questions for you.
Relationship is for mature minded people that can easily understand simple instructions from each other if your guy or you said don't like this thing the two should be able to avoid things that will bring problems to the relationship.
From what you said is not just about that outing. I can't really give a solid advice because I have not heard his side of the story.
But try and work it out, if you can still be with go on, if not, don't.
That is my take, please
Hello dear, my friend's a guy.
No, I don't live with my boyfriend and we both didn't have plans for the day.
To be honest, he wants me about following guys out but then, I feel bored sometimes and can't help but go out with my male friends. I didn't inform him and that's the root of the problem.
I really appreciate your input but asides that I went out with my male friend, we've been having constant issues and it's as a result of trust issues.
Sorry about that, maybe because he did love you so much and wouldn't want to see you with another man, yes trust issues and jealousy, are you in another relationship now if yes and if you have peace in the current relationship and it giving what you wanted in a relationship continue with it
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