My Fucking King

My Fucking King always carried a can of Dr Pepper that they would sometimes smash. This could be considered a fairly funny exercise, to you and me, but not to the King, who feels that it was in fact, fun. A can of Dr Pepper would be the item that was chosen.

My Fucking King always had with them a wig that they would occasionally worship. It was an astonishing thought, to everybody you know, but not to the King, who thinks that this idea is wonderous. Honestly, a wig is the item that was chosen.

My Fucking King desperately wanted a pencil sharpener that they sometimes play with. This seems a fairly odd exercise, to me and my husband, but not to the King, who had come to the conclusion that it was in fact, stunning. Bizarrely, a pencil sharpener was the chosen thing.

My Fucking King desperately desired a bag of flour to play with. This seems a peculiar activity, to my grandma, but not to the King, who thought that it was in fact, wonderous. Strangely, a bag of flour is the thing that was chosen.

My Fucking King desperately searched for a bottle of wine that they liked to annihilate This could be considered a fairly weird undertaking, to me, my mum and my dad, but not to the King, who feels it would be amazing. A bottle of wine would be the thing that was chosen.

My Fucking King had a computer that they would put up their bum. This might appear to be an extraordinary suggestion, to me, but not to the King, who considered that this idea was sublime. Strangely, a computer would be the chosen thing.