The complexities of Marriage

Marriage is a very blissful experience and yet is the most challenging relationship. Sometimes you may not want to go with the flow of your partner, you may have different thoughts and opinions, sometimes your partner can get very annoying and you may feel you cannot stand him or her anymore. But none of this means that Love gets any less. These kinds of things will happen in any relation and not just with your spouse. It can happen with your parents, children and siblings as well, so we do not leave them, we work on the differences and move ahead. Then why is it so easy to give up on your partner. When things do not work out between couples, it's so easy to break off. Then you look for another partner, and things may not be perfect there too.

Last week I had a client come over for relationship issues with her husband. Actually, her problem is not even her husband, but it's her in-laws and she does not even stay together with them, but she cannot tolerate them and because of her differences with them she has constant fights with her husband. In her case I felt she was overreacting. This is where I say false entitlement of woman empowerment. She feels she earns well, so even if she separates out from her husband she can live well off. The whole point here is marriage is just not about financial security. It is so much more, but the younger generation feels if they are financially independent then they do not need to compromise anything in marriage. She is a very young girl, under the age of 30. I tried to make her explain that she needs to give time to her relationship and also a lot of understanding. If her husband was bad in any way then understood, but that's not the case. He is nice and caring; the only thing is he does not go against his parents. Which I believe is very fair.

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These days I know of couples who have separate bedrooms, because they want their space. I do not understand what kind of marriages are these. It's like 2 people living together for convenience and benefits they get from each other. There is no Love that I see here. I do agree that in marriage also on and off you need space, but having separate bedrooms means this relationship has more or less become like a contract. It's not about one gender; I blame both the genders for this. You need to be very sure before you get married, if there are any doubts then better do not get married. I come from the old school of thought and believe that marriage is a sacred relationship, one that is built on trust and understanding, there is no room for any ego in it.

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