The Boring Newt

The Boring Newt had a radiator that they liked to worship. It should be a new operation, to my dad, but not to the Newt, who had come to the conclusion that this idea was the most awesome idea. Who would have thought, a radiator being the thing selected.

The Boring Newt searched for a bag of poop that they would occasionally break. This seems a fairly extraordinary thing to do, to me and my husband, but not to the Newt, who had decided that this idea is stunning. Who would have imagined, a bag of poop is the item to choose.

The Boring Newt desired a pen that they sometimes drop. One might find this to be a weird action, to me and my husband, but not to the Newt, who thinks that this idea was entertaining. Honestly, a pen was the item that was selected.

The Boring Newt desperately needed a bottle of beer that they would put up their bum. One might consider this to be an exciting exercise, to me and my children, but not to the Newt, who thought that this idea was entertaining. You wouldnt have imagined, a bottle of beer is the item that was chosen.

The Boring Newt always kept a wig that they liked to put down their trousers. It should have been a fairly bizarre approach to life, to me and my wife, but not to the Newt, who had come to the conclusion that the idea was sublime. Honestly, a wig being the chosen item.

The Boring Newt needed a Harry Potter wand that they would sometimes put on his head. It would be a weird suggestion, to some, but not to the Newt, who had come to the conclusion that the idea was out of this world. Bizarrely, a Harry Potter wand is the thing to choose.