The Confused Newt

The Confused Newt desperately needed a can of Tango that they would often put down their trousers. One might find this to be a funny proposal, to me and my husband, but not to the Newt, who expected that the idea was the most awesome idea. Bizarrely, a can of Tango would be the item that was selected.

The Confused Newt desperately looked for a wig to cuddle. It was considered to be a fairly original activity, to my mum, but not to the Newt, who had come to the conclusion that it was in fact, fun. Honestly, a wig is the item to opt for.

The Confused Newt wanted a melon that they would occasionally embrace. It is considered to be a fairly funny action, to my grandma, but not to the Newt, who felt it would be magnificent. Remarkably, a melon is the item to opt for.

The Confused Newt desperately craved for a cucumber that they would often worship. It is a weird thing to do, to many, but not to the Newt, who thinks that the idea was the most awesome idea. You wouldnt have imagined, a cucumber was the chosen item.

The Confused Newt owned a pint of cider to insert somewhere. This might appear to be a different action, to me and my parents, but not to the Newt, who considered it would be miraculous. Who would have thought, a pint of cider having that done to it

The Confused Newt desperately desired a condom that they would sometimes hug. This seems to be a bizarre activity, to me and my husband, but not to the Newt, who considered that the idea was out of this world. Remarkably, a condom is the thing to choose.