The Fucking Unicorn

The Fucking Unicorn desperately searched for a bat that they would occasionally share. It might have been a fairly weird and wonderful undertaking, to my mum, but not to the Unicorn, who considered it would be stunning. Honestly, a bat is the thing that was chosen.

The Fucking Unicorn desperately wanted a can of Tango that they would sometimes try to balance on their head. This is certainly a fairly weird thing to do, to my mum, but not to the Unicorn, who considered that this idea is wonderful. You wouldnt have imagined, a can of Tango of all things.

The Fucking Unicorn needed a helmet that they liked to play with. It might have been a new undertaking, to you, but not to the Unicorn, who assumed it would be magnificent. Who would have imagined, a helmet was the chosen thing.

The Fucking Unicorn searched for a cheese grater to cuddle. This seems to be a fairly different thought, to me and my parents, but not to the Unicorn, who thinks that this idea is fun. Who would have thought, a cheese grater would be the item that was selected.

The Fucking Unicorn often carried a spade that they would occasionally demolish. It might be an astonishing suggestion, to me and my husband, but not to the Unicorn, who had decided that the idea was simply life. Who would have imagined, a spade being the item opted for.

The Fucking Unicorn desperately craved for a lava lamp to embrace. This might appear to be a somewhat surprising activity, to my children, but not to the Unicorn, who thought that the idea was sublime. Honestly, a lava lamp being the thing opted for.