Fucking Elf

Fucking Elf always kept a sack of potatoes that they would sometimes experiment on. One might find this to be a fairly curious thought, to me and my husband, but not to the Elf, who feels that it was in fact, fun. Strangely, a sack of potatoes was the chosen item.

Fucking Elf had a toilet brush that they sometimes embrace. One might find this to be a bizarre suggestion, to me, my mum and my dad, but not to the Elf, who assumed that this idea was the most awesome idea. Remarkably, a toilet brush having that done to it

Fucking Elf needed a bat that they sometimes sleep with. This might appear to be a new undertaking, to me, my mum and my dad, but not to the Elf, who feels that the idea was wonderful. You wouldnt have thought, a bat being the thing selected.

Fucking Elf often carried a bat that they would break. This seems an odd action, to me, but not to the Elf, who felt that it was in fact, magnificent. Honestly, a bat being the thing selected.

Fucking Elf wanted a little monkey that they would occasionally put up their bum. It might have been an exciting activity, to you, but not to the Elf, who had decided that it was in fact, the most awesome idea. You wouldnt have thought, a little monkey is the item to choose.

Fucking Elf needed a mug that they would occasionally play with. It might have been a weird and wonderful idea, to many, but not to the Elf, who considered that this idea is sublime. Remarkably, a mug is the thing to opt for.